Think The “F” Word Very Loudly and Read.

Posted byMatthew WhitesidePosted inAlcoholism Recovery, Motivation, and Inspiration, Inspiration, motivation, self-improvement, transformationTags:, , , , , , , , , ,
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I don’t know what to do sometimes or how to help. I feel worthless by how incapable I am of saving another from their own personal damnation.

I get terrified that my inadequacy with words or money or resources is in effect killing people.

If only I had more money, I could feed these people.
If only I had a more room I could house these people.
If only I had a better solution I could save these people.

Shit…

It breaks my heart that I am incapable of swooping down and saving the world from the terrors presented by life. It tears me up now as I am in the midst of trying to be of service to people but feeling that I am falling way short…

I don’t know how to save the world.

I want to save the world…

But, I don’t know how…

I only know how to save myself. It feels cheap at times like this to say I only know how to save myself.

I feel like it is not enough; let me save others too God.

Don’t they deserve to live as much as me?

Of course they do, but it’s not my job to live for them. Ugh.

I have no ability to keep another person from a drink or drug in the same way I can control the weather. It is merely out of my control, and that sucks.

But it is what it is… I could fight that idea and try and control the weather or try and knock the bottle from another man’s hand, but ultimately these two things will do what they please and of their own accord.

My life is my own, and I like that, so I have to give up trying to make someone else’s life mine. It’s not, it is theirs and come hell or high water they are the only ones capable of living it.

As much as it hurts me to see others hurt themselves, I have no ability to stop them. I only hope they know they are loved and that it can get better.

It did for me.

I also know that what I went through was necessary for my growth and maybe the pain that they are experiencing is essential for them to grow.

I pray it doesn’t kill them first.

Published by Matthew Whiteside

I am a writer, a storyteller, a yarn-spinning freakazoid. My life is full of two things today, lessons and blessings. I write fiction mostly but I also love to write about my life and the things I go through on a daily basis. Writing it out inspires and motivates me and that's why I do it. Plus if it does that for me maybe it will for someone else too.

14 thoughts on “Think The “F” Word Very Loudly and Read.”

  1. It is true I am afraid, we cannot save others from their own demons, it hurts and I know it does, but all we can do is be there should they need us to be, in the end, this is their life and some can be beyond saving, we can only do so much, we must take stock of ourselves and make sure we are not neglecting ourselves, just know you are not alone in feeling that way

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      1. Just knowing you care is enough, that’s what I tell myself anyway, if you want to do something, maybe think about donating a few food/toiletries to a local food bank??

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  3. This is painfully true! We discover that it’s not our job to save people because it’s their job, but despite we still suffer from seeing them drowning sometimes and too stubborn to even take our hand!
    Beautifully written as always 👍😊

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  4. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, isn’t it? We are responsible for ourselves and no one else. The more we try to control other people, the less we leave for ourselves. It can make people angry when we stop trying to take care of their lives for them, too. My friend’s partner recently tried to kill himself when she finally refused to take responsibility for his recovery. She saved his life and now he’s angry about that, too. Some people will spend all of their energy being angry and resentful of other people and have nothing left to support themselves. But she is taking care of him by refusing to carry him. She is caring for her children by caring for herself. Taking responsibility for ourselves does help other people. It’s the most powerful tool we have to save the world. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first.

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