My Terminal Diagnosis- #writingcommunity #tuesdaymotivation

Posted byMatthew WhitesidePosted inAlcoholism Recovery, Motivation, and Inspiration, Inspiration, motivation, self-improvement, transformationTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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I have thought about this for a while now.  I have tried to come to peace with how to pose this heavy topic.

I have found myself wondering if it is ok to talk about.  I have in essence FOUND myself in this.

It may be hard to read this or to digest this, but I am dying.

It is not something that I have had an easy time accepting.  I did not want it to be true for the longest time.

I thought it so unfair of life.

I would think, “but I just got here, I have so much I want to do. This is not fair.”

In reality, it never seems fair, that the Diagnosis comes to us.  That we are slapped in the face with our mortality in life in so many ways that we forget that we are all dying.

The Diagnosis was given on the day of our birth.  The diagnosis that although we were given an opportunity of life, we were also given the promise of death.

Something none of us want to think about or accept, at least I know I didn’t.

I did not want to believe that one day I would be gone from this plane of existence, and left with what?

Here is what I have discovered through life thus far.

We are all in different degrees of accepting our own mortality, when poverty or sickness, disease or famine is entered into our lives by no fault of our own we think, “WHY ME?”

Why is my life being taken from me?  An understandable response to terrible circumstances.  And I have been trapped in this terrifying thought for most of my life.

However, it was not until my eyes were opened to the truth of our existence and our time here through personal development and service to others that I realized every, single, circumstance, diagnosis, outcome out of my hands that appeared as a curse appearing in my life to take my life was in fact…

Hold on for it.

The Greatest gift, God, the Universe, Life has ever given to me.  In each of the unforeseen circumstances of my life.  Growing up in an alcoholic home, afraid every day, bullied relentlessly for how I looked or how I thought.  Having my child taken from me.  Being caught in addiction to the point of trying to take my own life.

All these circumstances that I perceived as miserable curses of life are in reality the greatest gifts I could have ever been given.  And here is why.

Because I am going to die, like it or not.  What I do with the time given to me is up to me and realizing that I have been given the greatest gift of helping another human being struggling to get through another day because of the Depression they feel.

Helping another human being get through another day despite the battle with alcoholism.

Helping another human being locked in a situation of abuse or fear make it another day.

Helping another human being that has had to deal with losing a child in some way.

Is the greatest thing I can do for my life and the life of those I am in contact with.  It is how we evolve as a species.

We are no longer having to hunt and gather for food and fend of animals from eating us alive.

We are having to overcome the thoughts that I have had my life taken from me because of this situation.

We are overcoming an idea of fear that because I was diagnosed with a disease I can no longer live and I have nothing to give.

When in reality, I now have more to give than ever.  I have hope, I have love, I have strength, that although Death has always been on our heels.  That the idea of a finite existence has always been there I choose to give all of myself to life and none of myself to death.

I have that choice in every single moment and I choose today to give all of my Love: Mind, Heart, and Soul, to life and accept life on life’s terms.

It is the contract I had to sign when I woke up to this physical world.  That one day it would be taken, that one day I would not be here anymore.

I choose now at this moment to believe that every diagnosis that wants to shorten my life is a gift to give more of my life; to LIFE.

In this, I have found an abundance in the Universe that has always been there but that is only now becoming available to me.

It is available to all of us.

Whatever it is that you have been told is taking your life as difficult as it is, try and see what you can give through your experience and not what is being taken from you.

Because there is always someone where you were that is trying to get where you are and the only way we are ever going to grow as a species is by sharing Life with the people who need it most.

 

This was not easy to write and if it bothered you the way I laid it out then It was especially for you.  I hope this Triggers an awakening for the ones that are suffering because of the perception of Life and Death.

Wake up, you are alive, you are important and you have more to give than you ever dreamed possible.

The richness of your life lies in the depth of your sorrow and pain.  The treasure is there for you, use it.

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Photo by Mustafa ezz on Pexels.com

 

Published by Matthew Whiteside

I am a writer, a storyteller, a yarn-spinning freakazoid. My life is full of two things today, lessons and blessings. I write fiction mostly but I also love to write about my life and the things I go through on a daily basis. Writing it out inspires and motivates me and that's why I do it. Plus if it does that for me maybe it will for someone else too.

36 thoughts on “My Terminal Diagnosis- #writingcommunity #tuesdaymotivation”

  2. I’m hope this comment does not offend. I not afraid of Death… of dying… of leaving this world. For me, having been exposed to loss from an early age, death always seemed like mercy. And that makes death oddly beautiful to me.
    I’m afraid of living a life with no purpose. Of being mediocre. Of not having done things or helped people. Of not having lived at all.
    I’m weird, I know. And in no way am making light of your diagnosis or what you are going through. I’ve walked that road with someone. I just see things a little differently.

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  3. For me life and death are a pair, I’ve come to accept that I won’t be around forever and that, yes I could sit and moan and wait to die, or I can live life on my terms, everything that has happened to me thus far are all lessons and I now take solace in the fact that I am always learning. You’ve inspired me to want to write an article now (as death) I couldn’t think of anything yesterday but I can now. Xx

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  5. This was a very thought provoking and nicely written piece. Trying to live life, not in the future or in the past, but in today is something that I’ve tried to do for years. As pain has once again taken over my life for the past two years it is harder to find joy in today and live. But I’ll try harder after reading this.

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    1. Thank you for reading and sharing this Emily after having spoken with you only once face to face I can see that you are living with joy in the moments its available to you u are an extremely funny lovely person and I’m sorry you are in pain. I applaud you for living life in the face of that.

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  6. Oh wow Matthew. This is just amazing.

    First and foremost, I apologise for suddenly going off the grid. I had to take another big exam and I couldn’t balance my study life, my job life and my blogging life.

    I am back for good 😊

    Secondly. Wow just wow. As always. Your work never disappoints and here I am again left speechless to something this amazing.

    “The Diagnosis was given on the day of our birth.  The diagnosis that although we were given an opportunity of life, we were also given the promise of death.”—— this line of yours would probably be one of my favourites.

    I once heard this line that the only thing constant in this life is change, taxes and death.

    We are all going to succumb to that. It is only a matter of when and how.

    For me, I am not afraid of death, however I am more afraid of the suffering prior to dying and the thought of being forgotten.

    Like most people, I don’t want to experience immense pain. I even planned it out with my family that if ever things go bad for me I don’t wanna under go cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

    And lastly the thought of being forgotten. I think this scares me the most. I think in my short years of existence, I’d like to hope and believe that I somehow made a mark in this world and in people who matter most to me.

    Again great post. I enjoyed it very much. Beautifully written ❤️😊

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      1. Thank you so much for the warm welcome.

        I’m so touched by you not forgetting about me. 😊 This is what I mean. The fear of being forgotten. Soooo I’d like to think that I did a good job and that I must have written something good for you to remember me by despite having gone awol.

        People might have different opinions with regard to this topic but I personally like it. It was honest, truthful and quite refreshing actually😊

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      3. 😊❤️ I’m so touched by your heartwarming comment. Thank you so much.

        I’m thinking of creating a post in reply or in relation to yours. Your post is so thought provoking, it has inspired me to write my own version.

        I hope you don’t mind?

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  7. Many millennia ago primitive man realized one basic fact of his existence: It is finite. It will one day end. This opened up both a fear and a wonder in his spirit. He searched the heaven’s and prayed for an answer. Prayed for a reason. Ever since, mankind has searched for purpose, and a way to live beyond his days.

    Many are the gods and faiths that have been invented in order to alleviate the fear of nonexistence. After all, I’m special: How can I just end? Are we not the penultimate in the universe? We invented Valhalla, heaven, and yes, Hell. Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Confucianism.. All to say: There must be more. There must be a reason. Mankind must be here for some divine purpose.

    Well, I don’t know the answers. I do know that it seems better to seek a purpose to my live my life to the best of my ability, taking joy in it day to day, rather than seeking a reason to just give up. Wallowing in my misery until the day I die just destroys the time I have. Yes, one day I shall die. Where I go from there I will not know for sure until the day I arrive. But, for myself, I shall spend the time I have on this earth simply trying to leave behind a better world than the one I found.

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    1. Beautifully written as usual Androlonian you have it right my friend and is the purpose of this post live a life of joy serving and helping others through all the things that want to tear us down so that when you die people say thank you God for Matt instead of thank God Matt’s gone Haha. Thanks for reading

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  8. You shouldn’t be worried from discussing such topic! It was perfectly put as well! « The Diagnosis was given on the day of our birth. »👍👍

    I believe in a quote maybe for James Dean
    « Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die tomorrow »
    I was never afraid of death while growing up but I’m weak in front of losing dear people, because we are selfish after all and we miss our loved ones
    Giving for me is such a pleasure and I really enjoy changing people’s life to the best, it’s something in my character so it wasn’t hard to apply
    I believe in heaven in my own way, I Believe that death is not an end
    Glad you decided to hit the publish button, it’s perfect 👌

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    1. Thank you Huguetta I never want to offend but hope to expand the human consciousness but I have to realize that to expand sometimes I have to be willing to knock down walls. I hope the writing can begin to do that for some still trapped in a suffering box. Thank you for your kind words. Award winning Writer Huguetta that’s what I’m calling you from now on.

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      1. 😁😁 Award winning writer hahha OMG Matt! At least in this virtual world a great person and writer is saying such nice words, makes me so happy!
        no offense should be taken, the article was perfect! I mean for God sake who can argue that we’ll all going to die? and the best part: IT CAN BE TODAY!
        By the way, I commented yesterday on your book summary and trailer, guess the comment was vanished and I told you I’m certainly buying this book so I will for sure 🙂

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  9. 💕What a magnificent article, Matt. You truly write from your heart. From a place of profound insight. Hard earned understanding. From a place of vulnerability and painful honesty. You strip off self-consciousness and pretense and share the lessons you’ve learned in the darkest seasons of your life. Thank you. Through your transparency, you will do so much to help others heal. To believe again. To dare to hope again. You are a gift. You are a blessing, Matt. I, too, have had to decide that I will use all the pain, all the trials, and all the “unfair” occurrences in my life, to truly live. To learn and grow. To make a difference in other’s lives. To bring more life to their lives, as you so eloquently say. You are an inspiration, Matt. Please keep doing what you do to.

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  10. This is amazing, Matthew. I kind of held my breath for the first bit, I was worried that you were revealing something that was tragic…and yet you were. That by the time that I let out my sigh, I remembered my very own diagnosis of death and I was relieved to hear how you handle yours. I love your positivity that shines through everything you do (writing, videos, etc.) There is always hope in your message. Thank you for taking the time to share this. (If you could just post a message of Hope everyday so I can read it in the morning first thing, that’d be great, mmmmkay?)

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