I have thought about this for a while now. I have tried to come to peace with how to pose this heavy topic.
I have found myself wondering if it is ok to talk about. I have in essence FOUND myself in this.
It may be hard to read this or to digest this, but I am dying.
It is not something that I have had an easy time accepting. I did not want it to be true for the longest time.
I thought it so unfair of life.
I would think, “but I just got here, I have so much I want to do. This is not fair.”
In reality, it never seems fair, that the Diagnosis comes to us. That we are slapped in the face with our mortality in life in so many ways that we forget that we are all dying.
The Diagnosis was given on the day of our birth. The diagnosis that although we were given an opportunity of life, we were also given the promise of death.
Something none of us want to think about or accept, at least I know I didn’t.
I did not want to believe that one day I would be gone from this plane of existence, and left with what?
Here is what I have discovered through life thus far.
We are all in different degrees of accepting our own mortality, when poverty or sickness, disease or famine is entered into our lives by no fault of our own we think, “WHY ME?”
Why is my life being taken from me? An understandable response to terrible circumstances. And I have been trapped in this terrifying thought for most of my life.
However, it was not until my eyes were opened to the truth of our existence and our time here through personal development and service to others that I realized every, single, circumstance, diagnosis, outcome out of my hands that appeared as a curse appearing in my life to take my life was in fact…
Hold on for it.
The Greatest gift, God, the Universe, Life has ever given to me. In each of the unforeseen circumstances of my life. Growing up in an alcoholic home, afraid every day, bullied relentlessly for how I looked or how I thought. Having my child taken from me. Being caught in addiction to the point of trying to take my own life.
All these circumstances that I perceived as miserable curses of life are in reality the greatest gifts I could have ever been given. And here is why.
Because I am going to die, like it or not. What I do with the time given to me is up to me and realizing that I have been given the greatest gift of helping another human being struggling to get through another day because of the Depression they feel.
Helping another human being get through another day despite the battle with alcoholism.
Helping another human being locked in a situation of abuse or fear make it another day.
Helping another human being that has had to deal with losing a child in some way.
Is the greatest thing I can do for my life and the life of those I am in contact with. It is how we evolve as a species.
We are no longer having to hunt and gather for food and fend of animals from eating us alive.
We are having to overcome the thoughts that I have had my life taken from me because of this situation.
We are overcoming an idea of fear that because I was diagnosed with a disease I can no longer live and I have nothing to give.
When in reality, I now have more to give than ever. I have hope, I have love, I have strength, that although Death has always been on our heels. That the idea of a finite existence has always been there I choose to give all of myself to life and none of myself to death.
I have that choice in every single moment and I choose today to give all of my Love: Mind, Heart, and Soul, to life and accept life on life’s terms.
It is the contract I had to sign when I woke up to this physical world. That one day it would be taken, that one day I would not be here anymore.
I choose now at this moment to believe that every diagnosis that wants to shorten my life is a gift to give more of my life; to LIFE.
In this, I have found an abundance in the Universe that has always been there but that is only now becoming available to me.
It is available to all of us.
Whatever it is that you have been told is taking your life as difficult as it is, try and see what you can give through your experience and not what is being taken from you.
Because there is always someone where you were that is trying to get where you are and the only way we are ever going to grow as a species is by sharing Life with the people who need it most.
This was not easy to write and if it bothered you the way I laid it out then It was especially for you. I hope this Triggers an awakening for the ones that are suffering because of the perception of Life and Death.
Wake up, you are alive, you are important and you have more to give than you ever dreamed possible.
The richness of your life lies in the depth of your sorrow and pain. The treasure is there for you, use it.