When you want to quit, you should surrender instead. Surrender holding onto the processes, the terror, the thought demons that hold on to you. Surrender controlling the outcome because the outcome is an instance of so many variables that have a smaller correlation with your perceived action then we may ever truly realize.
I don’t want to be a person that quits when life is hard anymore, but I am ok being a person willing to surrender my strangle hold on the ideas I have. I will hold on to the vision of the reality I would like to create, like a Kraken freshly released onto a sailing vessel. So many times, throughout the course of my day I become the god of my universe, controlling with full righteousness and omnipotent insight. I am no god, and my control is killing me. Killing me in the sense, that I am beyond exhausted trying to manage the wind, (someone else’s mood). Trying to keep gravity from crushing me, (My plans for the future), and trying to keep the seas from flooding the land (My own negative emotions and thoughts).
It is a preposterous attempt on my end to think that I can hold back all the forces of nature to create the optimal circumstances for my own ascension to a higher, happier, more hospitable future. Not that I shouldn’t live in such a way that is disciplined to do my best to make the future I want as likely as possible but, to believe that I can predict the future and honestly make attempts to create the exact future I see a reality is a bit Egotistical.
There have been some seriously incredible humans that have walked the earth and even the greatest amongst us will say that things still happened out of their control all the time. The acknowledgement that life happens out of my control is step 1 in my healing and moving towards the future I do want. And just because something happens out of my control does not mean it is not for my benefit, it is my responsibility to see it as meaningful in a positive way not only a negative way.
I work in a business that is fully unpredictable, because it is predicated on human behavior and people do not always live the most stable emotional lives no matter how healthy, wealthy, or well-meaning they are. I tell people I work with that, the best thing we can do for ourselves when we go out everyday to deal with the public is to go in with a mindset that there are going to be challenges, problems. People will not want to talk to you, they will tell you to get the hell away from them, that they do not need you or your help. Not to mention the technology side of the job that has its own million and one problems. Even with that I say attack each moment knowing that there will be a hill to climb, don’t make it a mountain. We can accomplish that by addressing it immediately and directly. By not waiting and immediately taking the hill, we do not give our minds time to turn it into a mountain. Go for it right now.
I approach each day as if it is out of my control what the circumstances are, but I am fully in control of how I move through these circumstances, thus I gain my power back. I am empowered by my perception of life, control has gone from the things outside of me, that I have no power over, to the things inside of me that I do.
I have to keep working on this every moment, as I mentioned above the flood waters are always crashing against the rocks, the wind is always changing direction and gravity can be a real bitch. But, the challenge of each day if taken on a moment-to-moment basis can bring a fullness to life that is hard to measure and even harder to put words to.
I must surrender to win in my life. When I surrender my expectations for the way I believe life should be, life works out pretty damn good. My only responsibility is to work with what I am given to the greatest extent of my ability. I do not have to live someone else’s life and I do not have to solve someone else’s difficulties; my only responsibility is to my own life. When I live this way, life takes care of itself.
So, I surrender. No more quitting, but I do surrender my control of the forces of nature outside of me and take back responsibility for the forces inside of me. I am the pebble in the pond. To surrender the outward control and take up the inward power is the fullest freedom of life. I challenge you all to do the same.