Tao Te Ching Day 32: Other People

What is it about other people that makes me feel as if I need to be or do something to hold them up, to give them worth and validation? It is more to the fact that it has nothing to do with other people but instead it has everything to do with me.

I am at times so desperately in need of validation for my own personal self worth that I will act as if another persons whole life is riding on me supporting them.

Now I’m not saying that supporting another is wrong, in fact I think it’s wonderful but I also have to realize when to stop. When the gap between true support of another is really just fishing to support myself through my false belief that another’s well being and emotional health rest solely on my shoulders.

The Tao, eternally nameless

Its simplicity, although imperceptible

Cannot be treated by the world as subservient

TTC 32 (Lin)

I was just recently invited to be a part of an online event with a teacher of mine that I really care about, and think does incredible work.

I was trying to move my entire schedule around, but as it turns out I have made commitments to myself prior to being invited to this event. I got stuck in a mindset however that if I wasn’t there, if my presence wasn’t continually held in that space for the nine hours it was scheduled for then I would be letting this person and the group as a whole down.

I had this idea that I was so necessary to the health and well-being of other people that to leave would be entirely selfish and actually hurtful to them.

I see now how wrong that is.

I forced myself to step away when I knew I still had work that I had previously committed to.

I see that I wasn’t giving other people enough credit, because I always shortchange myself. The Tao is pretty clear that holding sovereignty in oneself ,are ability to have an inner state of control or worth, is apart of allowing the Tao.

If the sovereign can hold on to it All will follow by themselves

Heaven and Earth, together in harmony Will rain sweet dew

People will not need to force it; it will adjust by itself

TTC 32 (Lin)

People will naturally find their way, and many times me attempting to be a comfort or a support is a hinderance to their true growth.

I used to think that I wanted to help people get rid of their suffering, but that was because I was lost in my own. I see now true inner strength comes from dealing with your suffering not alone but not constantly comforted by the enabling of another’s codependent needs.

Allowing for this space will produce that sweet ass dew from heaven.

In the beginning, there were names

Names came to exist everywhere

One should know when to stop

Knowing when to stop, thus avoiding danger

TTC 32 (Lin)

I took a step today in honoring another sick part of me that names it’s worthiness by others.

I honored it by allowing it to suffer and be seen by me. My loving awareness that accepts all of me as the whole package of eternal perfection.

In allowing its suffering by stepping away and not relying on my old codependent nature growth can take place and in that growth is an immense sense of peace.

The existence of the Tao in the world

Is like streams in the valley flow into rivers and the ocean

TTC 32 (Lin)

We all find our way, and nothing is needed to be done as rivers don’t need to be told to flow to the ocean, we do not need help in returning to the Tao.


Published by Matthew Whiteside

I am a writer, a storyteller, a yarn-spinning freakazoid. My life is full of two things today, lessons and blessings. I write fiction mostly but I also love to write about my life and the things I go through on a daily basis. Writing it out inspires and motivates me and that's why I do it. Plus if it does that for me maybe it will for someone else too.

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