“Thy Will be Done” Guest Blog by Matthew Poole #WritingCommunity #WednesdayWisdom

Matthew Poole joins the Blog again with another thoughtful piece.

Follow Matthew on facebook@ https://www.facebook.com/authormattpoole and Twitter @https://twitter.com/MdpooleA

His Book “Salt and Light: Being the Hands and Feet of Christ” is available this Septemeber.

I recently shared a poem/song I wrote in 2004. My wife and I had been married for a year and trying to conceive our first child. The process was proving difficult and our stress level had only begun as a married couple. We believed early on that she was pregnant, but found out to our dismay that she wasn’t.

I understand that this early in a marriage, the problem of not having a child may seem insignificant, but as my poem read, “I’d give my life to put a face to you, one day would be enough”, we desperately wanted a child. So, you can imagine how the next six years drug on as we prayed and sought answers without result.

Can I just stop to say how wonderful God is? April 20th, 2010 I held my son for the very first time, and I will tell you that verse I wrote was as truthful then as it was when first written. Staring at that God created wonder; I would have fully surrendered my life if called on by God because in that moment, I was content.

I find myself sorrowful now thinking about how I took that joy that I was blessed with. That joy I would have given my life up for, and created a barrier. I completely separated myself from my son, and later his sister.

In my book, Salt & Light, I shared some of the difficulties I went through (really put myself through) because I let fear, depression, stress, grief, and alcohol control my life. I took the gifts that God gave me and built walls around them. My main fear was that my son was going to die. It was a fear I woke up to and later, passed out to. In the end, it was one of the only things keeping me from surrendering full control to God. I just could not look at God anymore and say “thy will be done” when it came to my son. It was so simple when he was born. So simple to say “you can take me”, but not him.

Maybe I can get an Amen way in the back, but finally surrendering to God was the most beautifully fearful action I have ever taken in my life. It was like everything in the world was behind me screaming “run away!” and God was standing right in front of me with arms open saying “no matter what…it will be ok.”

And you know what…It was ok. 1 John 2:17 says “The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever” and Jeremiah 29:11 states “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Our only hope is in the Lord. Life is scary, this world is crazy. But God is crazy in love with you. No matter who is behind you screaming from the safety of corners and dark places, God will always be right in front of you, showing you the way through your valleys, offering to take you all the way through your dark trials, and fearlessly leading the fearful on a beautiful walk with Him.

I was never there
I never heard you speak
Never called your name
Never brushed your cheek

I never held your hand
Never sang you fast to sleep
Never smiled proudly
As you stood in front of me

I was never there
Cause you would never be
I’ve cried myself to sleep
Wishing you were here with me
I’ve asked God to replace
The hole it’s left in me
Well I was never there
Cause you would never be

I was never there
Never got to see you play
Never got to hold you close to me
And tell you it’s ok

I never got to see you fall
And have that chance to lift you up
I’d give my life to put a face to you
One day would be enough

I was never there
Cause you would never be
I’ve cried myself to sleep
Wishing you were here with me
I’ve asked God to replace
The hole it’s left in me
Well I was never there
Cause you would never be – Matthew Poole