Good Morning, today I thought I would do a video and some writing, to expound more on my oh so deep thoughts. Ha, I was thinking about Honesty and Pretending this morning. The conversation came up last night with some friends about not knowing who we are as we go out into the world and the sense of unease and fear that it brings.
So, with that in mind here are my thoughts, starting with a Knight.
A Knight goes into battle wearing heavy, sturdy, magnificent armor. Armor meant to protect, to deflect, defend and keep the Knight from harm.
However, our Knight really loves his/her armor, they wear it day and night. They sleep in it, eat in it, bathe in it, dance in it, sing in it, go to bonfires in it. They even wear it while using the bathroom. Our Knight loves their armor, it keeps them feeling so safe.
Weeks pass by and the Knight isn’t looking so hot anymore, infact our Knight isn’t smelling all that great either. The armor is becoming rusted and the stench of all the nastyness underneath the armor, has turned the Knight into a walking, talking, garbage can.
But, still the Knight wears the armor, for He/She is afraid that if they take it off they will be left vulnerable and unsafe. What if someone stabs them while they are cleaning their precious armor?
Eventually the Knight begins to grow sick, the filth from never taking off the armor has finally infested the Knights body with a virus, a sickness that the doctors all say will kill Him/Her.
The Knight is scared; to terrified to take off the armor and become vulnerable, but also afraid of dying if they don’t.
Eventually the Knight decides that their life must continue. So, He/She removes the armor and allows the good health professionals to heal them. In so doing the Knight realizes how incredibly light and free they feel.
The Knight had forgotten what the breeze on a cool spring day felt like, or the warmth of a nice shower. (this is a modern knight with indoor plumbing) The Knight feels what it means to have a warm embrace from the person they love and being close to someone again.
The Knight now healed, and armor cleaned realizes that he/she has retired from being a knight and that the battle is over. That there is no longer a reason to wear the armor, and that He/She will happily just go about being freed from the metallic prison they had worn to protect them. That the armor was infact killing them and keeping them from life.
So, this story is amazing… because I wrote it. (Laughs excitedly)
Seriously though, the idea that I can’t be honest and vulnerable even when I am completely alone all by my little-old self can cause me great harm.
If I believe that I am always in danger than I will keep my armor on and the resentment, fear and overall nastiness that builds up as a result will end up killing me anyway.
I wrote this because I want everyone to understand that it is ok to take off the armor and be who you are. Stop denying yourself and the world the truest version of yourself.
I believe this starts with being as honest as possible with yourself. Who are you really? Are you really hungry, today? Are you really tired, today? Are you really sad, today? Are you excited as all heck for life, today? Do you need a little break? Do you need to talk to someone? Do you feel alone or scared? Start with basic questions.
Answering these questions honestly to your self will give you the ability to start talking to others about it as well, and for me talking to God about it. It will also allow you to start asking tougher questions of yourself and of life. Start small and work your way deeper.
It is important that we be who we truly are, so that we don’t become sickend by our own lies. It can and will happen, I know from experience.
So, take off the armor. The battle is over, you deserve to feel the coolness of the air. The touch from another human. To take a freaking shower, you pig, haha jk.
When you are alone with yourself its a time you can practice being rigorously honest with yourself. So that when it is time to go out and face the world you are not the stinky ass knight in rusted armor, but the shiny sweet smelling flower prince or princess you were always meant to be 🙂 lol.
Have a wonderful day. Please Subscribe to my YouTube channel if you havent already.