Is it OK to not be OK?

New Episode of our podcast Upon Awakening is Available now click the link below to listen. https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/embed/episodes/Is-It-OK–To-Not-Be-OK-ej7u0f Sherrie and I discuss the proclivity we share for trying to pretend like everything is fine when in reality we are a puddle of goo inside.  We give thanks to those listening and hope that you all feelContinue reading “Is it OK to not be OK?”

Change: Do we all have to do it?

Sherrie and I have a new Mic, so the quality isn’t crappy anymore. In this episode, we talk about the inevitability of change and suffering in life and how we go about dealing with life’s most difficult situations. Also, we talk about farts for a bit. Enjoy.

A Case For Suffering: Part 2 of “Through My Lens”

In darkness, we cherish the moments that are filled with light.  We see the savagery of the world we live in and turn away from it, a hopeful denial of lost truth. A truth that we knew had been lost long ago, yet we still hold onto the hope of paradise.  We needlessly suffer inContinue reading “A Case For Suffering: Part 2 of “Through My Lens””

Why I Do “The Next Right Thing” Part 1 of Through My Lens.

I feel like the embodiment of struggle.  On most days I feel this way like each breath is a choice I have to make and the argument to make it isn’t as compelling as it used to be.  So often I feel like what’s the point.  What’s the point of getting up every day andContinue reading “Why I Do “The Next Right Thing” Part 1 of Through My Lens.”

Dying to Live

My mind is on fire with thoughts. The past 2 days I have woken up and it’s felt like a fire drill in my head, ideas running crazy. It’s felt intense and also exciting because there is a ton of energy in that fire drill. It can be a scary place for anyone who suffersContinue reading “Dying to Live”

Some One is Trying To Kill Me!!! #FridayFeeling #writingcommunity

Let me tell you about my anxiety, it’s a fucking pain in the ass and also my best chance for survival.  It’s like to fat kids on a seesaw, I need to put them both on a diet or the seesaw will break. One year ago, I was so terrified to leave my apartment thatContinue reading “Some One is Trying To Kill Me!!! #FridayFeeling #writingcommunity”

I AM DEPRESSED

My oh my, am I a happy pie in the sky kind of joyful guy? Is my life a full-on masterpiece, a grand experiment of the most epic beautiful proportions? No, no it’s not.  And no I am not a joyful guy at the moment. I hate how I feel right now, my lack ofContinue reading “I AM DEPRESSED”

My Terminal Diagnosis- #writingcommunity #tuesdaymotivation

I have thought about this for a while now.  I have tried to come to peace with how to pose this heavy topic. I have found myself wondering if it is ok to talk about.  I have in essence FOUND myself in this. It may be hard to read this or to digest this, butContinue reading “My Terminal Diagnosis- #writingcommunity #tuesdaymotivation”

I Am Quitting! #writingcommunity

I have had enough.  I am sick and tired of the same thing over and over again.  I am so done with this crap. I pour my soul out and this is what I get.  I can’t go on doing it anymore.  I can no longer hold on to the ideals I thought I believedContinue reading “I Am Quitting! #writingcommunity”