Possessed by an Angel of Nonsense:) The Answers to all my questions!

person using inspire typewriter
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Being inspired is being in spirit or Possessed by Spirit. I have craved a possession, an overtaking of my spirit my entire life, its why I drank. I still seek a form of being Possessed today, but of a higher source.

Now, do not misunderstand what I am saying. This is not an exorcist kind of deal, ha, that scares the crap out of me.

This is tapping into a higher source of living. I seek possession by the spirit of God, of the Universe, of Love. I am possessed by the idea of leading others to that spirit of inspiration and in so doing, I ask that Spirit into my life. The Spirit of Love and a higher calling shows up every day with answers to my questions. I can become confused and believe the answers aren’t coming.

It’s not that my questions are not being answered; it’s am I willing to accept the answer to the questions I have asked the Spirit of God the Spirit of the Universe.

Two days ago I laid on my couch reading, enjoying being done with a day full of work and blessings. A day in which I felt full of Spirit, and I asked myself “do I really want to reach the level of success that will require me to travel the world and speak to groups of strangers?”

“Do I want to be the person who is so sought after and famous for the writing and speaking I do?”  Getting to a point where days like today, in which I get to lay on the couch and be lazy and read are no longer possible or at least few and far between.

Well, that question was answered yesterday when I woke up. I woke with no will of my own to do any of the things I had committed myself to do, and it was not until the writing of this did I realize that the Universe was not telling me the answer but showing me the answer. Its what I have been taught in writing, show don’t tell. So let me show you.

Yesterday, my commitments overwhelmed me as I squirmed and wriggled in an attempt to lather myself up into a state where I could do all the things necessary for my day, when in fact it wasn’t necessary.  Forcing my will was blocking the spirit from flowing freely through me.

I was, in essence, ignoring the answer right in front of my face, the answer to the question, “do I really want to give up my comfort for a higher calling/” The answer was a resounding Yes, but I couldn’t see it until I took inventory of my day last night and again this morning.

All the goals I have set for myself are daily practices that are leading me into a more prosperous life. They are moving me right into the life I can only dream of.

So, when I asked myself the question of am I willing to give up my comfort for a higher calling, the fact that I wasn’t already aware of the answer was silly.

I am already giving up comfort every day for a higher calling. Why would that change once the success arrives? The answer is it won’t, I will have prepared myself for it.

I did so yesterday when I showed up to my commitments and shared openly and honestly with others about how I was feeling. When I walked into a group, I was leading feeling tired and rundown but doing it anyway and becoming possessed with an energy not of myself but of a spirit of service to others, and to my higher calling.

I want to get on stage and speak to millions of people, inspiring others to live a profoundly deep and meaningful life. One of abundance and wealth in all meanings of the word.

I want to so profoundly change myself that when I come in contact with you or anyone else on this planet they are instantly raised to a higher frequency of living. I want to be remembered for contributing more to the overall wellbeing of the human condition than anyone in history.

Crazy dreams, I know. But, for some reason, they are my dreams, and I know that they were given to me for a reason. So, I have to get very intentional with the questions I ask the Universe in going after my goals. Then, be willing to see the answers that are presented to me.

The answer I received yesterday is that I am already giving up comfort for a higher calling, even when I don’t feel like it and I am not getting paid to do it.

I am still pursuing the spirit even when it seems lost to me. I am already living the life of my dreams and effecting change in the people around me.

I am told on a daily basis by the people I talk to the most how I am inspiring them.

Yesterday when I was feeling down, I shared about it. I opened up and said, “look this is me today.” I was willing to look stupid or crazy, as you can tell I am willing to look crazy this morning, for a greater purpose.

I do not want to stop growing toward my ultimate goal. I want to get better and become better every day. I want to be more explicit about my Why for life, and How I am going to get there. I want to become better at asking the Universe the Right questions even when I felt sick and worn down.

My question yesterday, although I was hurting, was: “How can I be of service to another human being today?” And I didn’t have to wait for an answer, I simply had to become willing to accept the answers that flew at me all day long.

Yesterday, turned out to be a great day, as most days do once I get over the fear of them.

It was a day where so many people reached out to me with love and compassion, with knowledge and understanding.

I want to thank those who read this blog for reaching out and sharing kindness with me yesterday and reinforcing how important it is to be willing to show my weakness even when it is scary.

And to all my friends and family that support me on my Journey of recovery and a higher calling eachday, Especially my girlfriend who is on fire for life when I am not.  She balances me and inspires me everyday with her strength and courage to improve and find her higher calling.

“The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.”  Swedish proverb.

I can only try to get better each day if I am willing to acknowledge that I do not fully understand. Keep learning, keep growing.

Be inspired to inspire, and allow the answers you seek to light up your life.


Published by Matthew Whiteside

I am a writer, a storyteller, a yarn-spinning freakazoid. My life is full of two things today, lessons and blessings. I write fiction mostly but I also love to write about my life and the things I go through on a daily basis. Writing it out inspires and motivates me and that's why I do it. Plus if it does that for me maybe it will for someone else too.

5 thoughts on “Possessed by an Angel of Nonsense:) The Answers to all my questions!

  1. It’s great to know your day went well eventually and your journey in inspiring others and fulfilling your dreams is moving forward! Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts, it’s always uplifting and helpful

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reading your blog is one of the highlights of my day. Your honesty and perspective is so refreshing in social media world where everyone is trying to appear better than everyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m just catching up on your posts, but wanted to say I like the sentiment here. Sometimes you just have to “do the thing” without agonizing over it too much. This works for me for writing, getting in a workout when I think I don’t have the energy, or making appointments/phone calls that I have been putting off. It’s easy to overthink things. Sometimes you just have to go ahead and do it without thinking!

    Liked by 1 person

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