I Am Quitting! #writingcommunity

Posted byMatthew WhitesidePosted inAlcoholism Recovery, Motivation, and Inspiration, Inspiration, motivation, self-improvement, transformation, Writing, ShortstoriesTags:, , , , , , , , , ,
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I have had enough.  I am sick and tired of the same thing over and over again.  I am so done with this crap.

I pour my soul out and this is what I get.  I can’t go on doing it anymore.  I can no longer hold on to the ideals I thought I believed in.

I am not the man I thought I was.  I thought myself capable of more and now I see I was wrong.

I was wrong, you were right.  My Dream is stupid, my ideas are dumb. I am not funny or special or worthy of anything better than where I am right now.

I deserve to be lost in the oblivion of drink, death, and despair.

If I wish the world to be just then I should start with my self and serve myself the justice long past due.

I am quitting…

These thoughts are all real thoughts that I have had every single day.  Every single day these thoughts persist in my mind.

They like to believe they are wearing me down.  These thoughts of lack and insecurity, push and tear at every inch of my being.

The thoughts, dig into my soul and begin to spin and tangle the dreams and ideals I can feel inside of me.

These Thoughts work to pervert my innermost desire to live a good life.

My thoughts try and keep me from moving forward, they pick at me in every moment, quiet or loud.

My thoughts whisper to me more than yell, they tell me how sweet it would be to give up.

They tell me how nice a drink would be.  My thoughts rage at the idea of laughing at the sorrows in my life.

My thoughts believe they know best, that quitting is the safer answer to the problem’s that I face.

My thoughts would like to see me dead so as to not have to suffer any longer.

But here is the kicker…

These are MY thoughts, the thoughts are not me.

So, I will do as they ask and quit…

I choose to quit…

I choose to quit allowing these negative bull shit, weak thoughts to control any part of my life.

A thought is not an action.  My action dictates my reality.

While my thoughts can be negative I choose to quit focusing on them and do something positive to begin having positive thoughts.

I am Quitting the process of listening to the BullShit.

My Life will not be dictated by these negative thought processes.

I am Quitting the game of doubt…

I am Quitting the game of Failure…

I am Quitting the game of I Can’t

I am Quitting believing the negative thoughts…

I am Quitting…

Now if you will excuse me I need to go live in my dreams and chase the light within.

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Published by Matthew Whiteside

I am a writer, a storyteller, a yarn-spinning freakazoid. My life is full of two things today, lessons and blessings. I write fiction mostly but I also love to write about my life and the things I go through on a daily basis. Writing it out inspires and motivates me and that's why I do it. Plus if it does that for me maybe it will for someone else too.

20 thoughts on “I Am Quitting! #writingcommunity”

  2. The light within when well nurtured will shine away fears, doubts, all darkness. Fuel it with what you have and it’ll keep you warm. Darkness exists no matter what and will always be lurking. Regardless, you can reignite your light any time.

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  4. Never give up on chasing your dreams, Matt! Always try to remember where we came from and how far we’ve all come. Choose to see the positive and ignore the negative. Some days will be harder than others, but still possible. Never give up hope and continue to help others seek their truth. After all, #It’s always the bright side when you’re with a Whiteside!
    Aloha~Marthe

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  6. Pingback: I Am Quitting! #writingcommunity | wordrefiner

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