Why I Hate The World

Where do I start? There is so much to hate, from the greed, the envy, the selfishness, and gluttony. Those with no regard for anyone but themselves, so cold an unforgiving to the least of these and envious of those with the most.

I hate the consumerism and egotism. I hate that we don’t love each other more.

I hate how we look at each other with our guards up waiting for the worst.

I hate that we seek security through an invisible currency made up by invisible people that sell us invisible things.

I hate that the world is so cold to those that don’t go along with the program.

I hate that we are always divided on one thing or another.

I hate our speech and our intolerance.

I hate our fear filled lives desperately lacking of faith.

Most of all I hate myself for being all that I hate and not having the courage to be the man I would like to be.

I hate my lack of bravery in the face of this enemy.

I hate my own hypocrisy for loving these hateful comforts.

I hate that I hate this world, but I hate it because it’s a reflection of me.

Guided Meditation

This is a 10 minute guided meditation I have recorded that came from God most likely to transform anyone that practices it. Please practice in a safe place alone or with friends.

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The Psychic Chains: Free Yourself Part 1

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From the moment we were brought into this world a heavy magic has had its hands all over each and every one of us. The lives we are born into are filled with magical resonance from the lives of all those our blood ties us to. These are our psychic chains, the unseen and for the most part unknown magical barriers that keep us on our predictable life paths.

Now you can believe me or not, but this is the truth. Maybe, you dislike the idea that I call it Magic, so you can think of it as Karma, or Genes. What ever you call it the bounding of the person that is called You is still the same. Once we realize we are wearing these Psychic Chains we can began to systematically remove them.

Identifying The Chains

This task can feel overwhelming, anxiety inducing and produce fear and depression that can bring you to your knees, and that is its purpose. The Magic keeps you far from your freedom by squeezing every autonomic response in your body to create the sense of impending doom.

  • Find your fears- This can be big or small, I found identifying the big fears the easiest and working my way down.
  • Study your family- Our families are roadmaps to the psychic chains we carry and typically it’s easier to see others shortfalls than our own.
  • Identify your role models- Just as important as the things that scare us the things that we love others for can be a road map for us.

This will begin the journey of understanding the chains holding us from a free life. A life where the chains have been removed and we are free to go about discovering the infinite abilities we were all gifted with. We are Unlimited in what we can become and this begins step one of that process.

This process will not be easy. As we get closer to understanding our fears the magic will draw distraction upon distraction your way to throw you off the trail. It may come in the form of wonderful things like a promotion at work, a new child or new love. It may also bring things to our attention like death and poverty of not only our loved ones but those suffering around the world. The Goal here is to stay focused, when trying to free yourself every trick known to man and beast will be thrown at you to keep you where you are. You must resist and continue to dig into the fear, the understanding or nothing else will ever matter.

Exercise

Some of the simplest ways to fight this kind of magic is with simple spells.

The spell: What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

This spell is simple but effective and it does not mean if you don’t die from jumping off a building you will become more capable of falling off buildings. What it means is that there are things that our mind tightens at. Tasks and actions that if we took, the anxiety and fear produced by our mind would be enough to kill us. The truth is, that is completely untrue. The real truth is that doing those things we feel like are going to kill us actually make us stronger, because we are in fact killing a part of ourselves that needs to die a part of ourselves that is imprisoned by these chains.

What’s Next

In Part 2 we will discuss the personal experiences I have had with Step 1 and get into Step 2: Dismantling the Chains.

Unlocking the greatest version of you is what I hope to do.

The Rise of Judges

Sitting dutifully erect, well barely, the Judge stares with wide eyes at it’s court. Witness after witness is brought before it, each more entertaining yet some how less convincing than the last. The Judge has seen this before to many times to count, the same story, the same excuses and the same reasons why they should be allowed to live. The Judge is restless, having observed this song and dance since childhood nothing is new and because it doesn’t surprise or delight any longer the Judge has no sympathy. Death. It roars, and nods off drooling a bit back to the next witness.

And so it goes, this is what we have become. A world full of Judges, watching, observing the lives of others since we were children to the point that we have become overly cynical of life. Worse we believe we know precisely how life should be lived and to those that do not agree well then they die to. We the Judges have excommunicated ideas, and people we do not agree with because we would rather watch something more pleasing and if it doesn’t please me then it must end, for we are the Judges, the Observers of this world and this Universe and if it does not work to my liking then off with It’s head.

This is where we are a world of people sitting in our own personal Coliseums giving the Thumb to what ever we please. Because we believe ourselves to be more righteous. We could never end up in the Arena fighting for our lives. No, not little old us, we just came for the show, the blood and the chicken wings. Can’t I just sit here and judge another persons life in peace I just worked for 8 hours and am trying to ignore my kids and wife, please.

We amuse ourselves with the struggle of gladiators, that these poor souls born and bred to fight just got a bad lot and so we do what we believe is our duty as a citizen of this world we judge them. We never take a moment to think maybe they are the lucky ones, the ones that are actually living. We judge the risk takers and the free thinkers, “get in line you swine, only one way to think here. Up or down that’s all you get.” What a small existence we judges live to only see what is given to us to see, to only eat what we are being fed.

What a worthless life we lead to never create anything beyond what we are told we deserve because we are to busy telling other people what they deserve. How could we have anything more when we shit on those that try for more. We dig our own graves in the form of a comfortable home with larger than life Judge boxes in every room, in our pockets and on our desks.

Here is where we have judged our own lives as worthless, by giving all of our lives to those we deem as less than or more than. A rank and file of man kind and we think we are God.

There can be no salvation with out grace, no forgiveness without love. We must stop Observing and Judging and begin to live again. A call to the wild hearts of all human kind is upon us we must take it before it takes us.

Why I Contemplated Suicide

The heaviness of that title ways on me. As if its too heavy to share. Too much to lay down at the worlds feet. In reality, it is to heavy not to be put down. It is too much not to let out and what I have learned is to important to keep inside.

I had thought about ending my life years ago. The suffering I was enduring seemed to be beyond my capacity any longer, I needed to be set free. I was day after day trying to drink myself to death. I went on rampage after rampage against myself and others in hopes that something, someone would end me and I would not wake up again.

Day after day for years I was in the darkest of places, there felt like no hope. I needed to die.

So I did. I died, just not in the way I had expected. I had what is functionally known as an ego death. The part of me that was beholden to the past and to the destructive behaviors and victim mentality had to die or more aptly I had to kill it. Big Self had to kill little self.

I am paraphrasing Jack Kornfield when he said that those that think of suicide and those that commit suicide are not wrong that something must die. We know something in us needs to die, what we miss however at first glance is that it is not the physical body that needs to die it is the ethereal body that needs to be severed from this form.

It is such a difficult thing to separate and its only after years of consistent meditative and spiritual practices that I have come to see. Our ego bodies must endure death after death if we are to truly live. For our ego wants to stay exactly as is was because it believes it self to be the best version of it self. It’s and Ego of course that is how it thinks.

What I have discovered is that for me to live a truly full life I must be willing to surrender my ego to die each and every moment. This I find is painful and difficult at first, but overtime becomes the only way to true freedom.

Doing those things which we know will not physically kill us but know they will egoically kill us will change your life. If you are desperate for change, if life has lost its luster, if the world seems unkind and unfair, get up and challenge yourself to get uncomfortable.

The saying, “weakness is pain leaving the body” hits me harder than ever now. Because in choosing little pains over and over every moment I allow myself to be untethered and do not have to find myself back on deaths doorstep afraid to face the monster with in.

Kill the monster before it kills you. We are all warriors in this way, spiritual warriors destined to be free and live life, not stand by while it kills us.

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The End

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We have become so disconnected from each other, from the source of our being, of creation that the majority of us have forgotten how to do anything. We go about this self discovery process by looking in books in media in all sorts of other things and get a rush of excitement when we find something that resembles who we think we are. The truth is no amount of looking outside of ourselves will result in what we really need.

There is nothing left to read. You are either there or you are not. The insight I look for from another book to help me crack the code of the universe is like a junky looking for his fix. In this instance my fix is spiritual arrogance, or as I like to say becoming “Wisdemonic.” A word I just made up but fits what I am implying, taking the gift and turning it to a curse. There are no more books, no more teachers, no more lessons. Do you have it yet? Here it is, there never were any, there was never anything to learn of how to “be” we already are. We can’t therefore be becoming. We lost ourselves in trying to find ourselves now we are lost within ourselves and think we can find our way out. There is no way out you are it. This is it. The last lesson you will ever need is there are no lessons needed. Feel it all, love it all, hate it all. All of it is you and you are all of it.

Our next fix will be our first we were never broken. Here, right here you are. All of here is who you are.
The self help books the spiritual teachers, the gurus, the religion, all of it has been pointing at you, yet you are without eyes that can see themselves or ears that can hear themselves. So, you believe it is someone else, something else but its not, it’s only you always only you. Wake up the lessons are over.

Seek First

We pour deeply from our cups into the known of a civilization that “rewards” us for such diligent perspirations towards a better civilization, with more tools to build a bigger more powerful civilization. To what end does this constant work, this constant pouring of ourselves ever return in a true fulfillment of our most humble desire.

I continue to seek in all that I do, on some levels we are all seeking. What we seek will and does determine the level of our fulfillment in this life.

Those that seek power find a never quenched thirst for more power.

Those that seek money find a bottomless pit of desire for more money.

Those that seek happiness find a perversion of happiness in pleasurable things, until they rot from with in.

Rumi says, “What you are seeking, is seeking you.” I know this because its a magnet on my moms refrigerator right below the picture of blonde hair blue eyed Jesus.

It has always hit me every time I see it that what I want, also wants me so I must be careful that my desires are pure and not full of greed or lust or any other fun thing. Because if they are not pure that which I desire will come to me in a way that I did not intend. This is part of the problem and why the Buddhist would set about the impossible task of desiring not to desire. Because every desire has some root in dirty soil. It’s why the desire not to desire is also desire and we find ourselves suffering all over again.

So then we must find a new way to seek a higher space to seek a seeking of no thing, of no one, no time, no space, no where. We must seek the unknown which biblically speaking would be to seek God. The word God is simply a place holder for an unknowable un imaginable thing. It is the preverbiale No Thing, because it is all things, and with in all things no thing exsists.

Have I lost you yet, because I am trying to. We can not find nothing as something we can only find No Thing, as no one, and to become no one we must lose our oneness to all this. The material of the world fills our senses so deeply escaping into the no thing is more and more difficult. However, it is far from impossible and to seek the No thing we will find all that we ever required. Because the No Thing is the void, the womb, the canvas of all things it exists as the pathless to discover the path. We must see that we are flickers of light on the canvas of this darkness and we are constantly bringing to life our own light. But because we seek out of fear and out of lack or out of greed or lust we return with only that which we could imagine on our very own and because we imagined it a flawed hurt person that which we created was also flawed and hurt.

So to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven is to seek the No Thing, to lose the idea of yourself as a self so that their is no disconnect from you and the YOU that is No thing. We can be lost standing in the middle of our room looking in the mirror asking who am I? And we can be found in the vast nothingness of the infinite No Thing. When we do this there is no effort in life, there is only creation and possibility, we are no longer creating in defense or lack but in fullness. We receive all the healing, wealth, love, joy and happiness any one person could ever need, so much so that we give it away freely to all that we come in contact with because we are now No One connected to No Thing and that is all the potential you will ever need.