Sometimes the only thing we can do is wait for the sun to come up. Wait for the storm to pass. Wait for the nightmare to be over. Then we can give thanks for the strength, patience and grace to withstand that which we can not control.
In the most difficult times, sow deeper roots in to your eternal nature, as the finite world fades around you. Awaken renewed in spirit.
You will overcome the world, if you do not give in.
Podcast included on this topic. https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/Clearing-The-Channel-ek8pa7
The mechanism that records reality is not something that is easy to diagnose. To many of us we spend our entire life with out a comprehensive understanding of the connection that guides us or speaks to us in everyday life. The voice has become a low sometimes irritating hum that we long ago learned to ignore.
Yet, so many of us are wondering through life looking for a purposeful direction only to spit on the signs and the sound of guidance as it shows up in our lives.
Our filters have become clogged, dirty and incapable of processing reality on a base level. Meaning we only see what we want to see instead of seeing what is truly in front of us. This becomes an unhealthy behavior when the narrative of our lives, the story we tell our selves about how the world is in relationship to us becomes dark.
The darkness encompasses every aspect of our being and even the good parts of life that we used to see with joy and wonder are met with skepticism and criticism.
We have come to a place where we can no longer channel the light, we can no longer see the magnificent way in which life is moving all of existence in our favor.
Why?
Because we have not cleared the channel. The channel is ourselves, the idea of who we are. Our identity built up from the time we woke up to this world and began to remember that we are something. What day was that for you? Do you remember how old you were when you woke up to life and had your first memory?
We have lived lifetimes from the first memory of ourselves as children until now and with out knowing have been stacking memory upon memory, identity upon identity onto ourselves creating a self to face the world. Some see it as cold and dark, full of danger and hate. Some see it as a joy and a place of wonder.
How ever we have been brought up to see the world has created a self that now exists as a filter thick with layer upon layer of story and trauma creating a new version of reality every time reality enters our minds.
With out knowing we are bending reality to the smallest and largest degree based on a self that no longer exists but existed 10, 20, 30 years ago to deal with the reality of that self’s present moment. We no longer can see reality clearly. We no longer have the real eyes given to us upon awakening, therefore what we bring to the world is distorted, its messy and sick. Not always and not for everyone but, for those that feel the chaos of their lives that feel tired and drained, afraid and weak something must change.
We can change, we can become the clear channel once more that allows the beauty of life and creation to flow through us uninterrupted by trauma and the past. To do so we must be willing to forget ourselves. We must die to ourselves.
The ego will tell you that you need it. That you need the memories and the fear to protect yourself from the future. It will tell you that it has gotten you this far in life, how could you think to let it go now. It will use a thousand forms of deception to trick you into believing that you are nothing with out this Identity of self.
The truth is it will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. It was for me. It continues to be the most difficult thing to do, everyday letting go of my past mistakes and my future fear and walking into life asking to see reality as it is with out the tinge of Matt distorting it. The funny thing is that the only way to truly honor this form. This Idea that is Matt is to let go of it so that I will be free to channel the magnificence of creation or God in the only way that I am able because of my unique gifts.
The same is true for everyone of us. The greatest deleusion that is upon us is that Matt must become something, when in reality Matt will never become more than a reflection, a shimmering of light in an endless eternity but the Conciousness that fills Matt will be eternally present and remembered if only Matt will allow.
What a great choice we have. To come to awareness and see that the only thing in the way of eternal life is me.
As Saint Francis of Assis put it, “It is by self forgetting that one finds, it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.”
Breathe in the cleansing waters of eternity and be reborn.
Podcast included on this topic. https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/Clearing-The-Channel-ek8pa7
The mechanism that records reality is not something that is easy to diagnose. To many of us we spend our entire life with out a comprehensive understanding of the connection that guides us or speaks to us in everyday life. The voice has become a low sometimes irritating hum that we long ago learned to ignore.
Yet, so many of us are wondering through life looking for a purposeful direction only to spit on the signs and the sound of guidance as it shows up in our lives.
Our filters have become clogged, dirty and incapable of processing reality on a base level. Meaning we only see what we want to see instead of seeing what is truly in front of us. This becomes an unhealthy behavior when the narrative of our lives, the story we tell our selves about how the world is in relationship to us becomes dark.
The darkness encompasses every aspect of our being and even the good parts of life that we used to see with joy and wonder are met with skepticism and criticism.
We have come to a place where we can no longer channel the light, we can no longer see the magnificent way in which life is moving all of existence in our favor.
Why?
Because we have not cleared the channel. The channel is ourselves, the idea of who we are. Our identity built up from the time we woke up to this world and began to remember that we are something. What day was that for you? Do you remember how old you were when you woke up to life and had your first memory?
We have lived lifetimes from the first memory of ourselves as children until now and with out knowing have been stacking memory upon memory, identity upon identity onto ourselves creating a self to face the world. Some see it as cold and dark, full of danger and hate. Some see it as a joy and a place of wonder.
How ever we have been brought up to see the world has created a self that now exists as a filter thick with layer upon layer of story and trauma creating a new version of reality every time reality enters our minds.
With out knowing we are bending reality to the smallest and largest degree based on a self that no longer exists but existed 10, 20, 30 years ago to deal with the reality of that self’s present moment. We no longer can see reality clearly. We no longer have the real eyes given to us upon awakening, therefore what we bring to the world is distorted, its messy and sick. Not always and not for everyone but, for those that feel the chaos of their lives that feel tired and drained, afraid and weak something must change.
We can change, we can become the clear channel once more that allows the beauty of life and creation to flow through us uninterrupted by trauma and the past. To do so we must be willing to forget ourselves. We must die to ourselves.
The ego will tell you that you need it. That you need the memories and the fear to protect yourself from the future. It will tell you that it has gotten you this far in life, how could you think to let it go now. It will use a thousand forms of deception to trick you into believing that you are nothing with out this Identity of self.
The truth is it will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. It was for me. It continues to be the most difficult thing to do, everyday letting go of my past mistakes and my future fear and walking into life asking to see reality as it is with out the tinge of Matt distorting it. The funny thing is that the only way to truly honor this form. This Idea that is Matt is to let go of it so that I will be free to channel the magnificence of creation or God in the only way that I am able because of my unique gifts.
The same is true for everyone of us. The greatest deleusion that is upon us is that Matt must become something, when in reality Matt will never become more than a reflection, a shimmering of light in an endless eternity but the Conciousness that fills Matt will be eternally present and remembered if only Matt will allow.
What a great choice we have. To come to awareness and see that the only thing in the way of eternal life is me.
As Saint Francis of Assis put it, “It is by self forgetting that one finds, it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.”
Breathe in the cleansing waters of eternity and be reborn.
It is important to be true to ones self. However, first it is important to know thine self then you can be true to it. I suppose we can be true to an untrue version of ourselves, but is that what we want?
I think we are looking for the truest representation of our humanness, the part of us that is uniquely different from the rest. Unfortunately we find that we differentiate ourselves in all the same ways as the rest of the population making us very much un-unique.
We can be who we are with out abandoning those we choose to love. We simply have to be more understanding to those we don’t understand. More loving to those we don’t love, and more forgiving to those we don’t forgive. To see ourselves fail in these endeavors and truly reflect on said failures is a true expression of our uniqueness of our special disorder. Its also our super power, our yellow sun. Can we see that our difficulties are the truest reflection of our greatest strength?
If you couldn’t lift the weight it wouldn’t keep showing up.
I am enamored at all the cries for justice as of late. Not that its not necessary that crimes have punishments but that the judges have become the irrational mob. The unjust ones serving justice.
Screaming, “Justice for all” while smashing, burning and even killing seems so far off base. Yet these things are being justified because the inequity was done first to them.
We seem lost in this revenge, as if we were stuck in an action movie and its our job to right the wrong. This in and of it self is corrupt and off base.
No imperfect person or persons should be allowed to serve their own justice. Especially under the guise of “Justice for all.”
If truly we wanted justice for all we should pray it doesn’t find us because if we look at ourselves can we honestly say that we have lived a flawless life. A life without harming others, taking what wasn’t ours, misleading others.
Haven’t even the most saintly among us had hateful and damming thoughts? At some point we have all acted in a way that if justice were served in equal rations to us justly based on our lives, we would find ourselves in a world of trouble.
Yet, self reflection goes to the way side. It becomes common place to point out the speck in our brothers eye than to deal with the log in our own.
If we really want justice deal first with the injustice in our own lives. Forgiveness must take the place of justice if we are to move forward.
By forgiveness we are made new. We are reborn to a new body, a new spirit that is still aware of its past and thus is able to see others with the lens of perfect love and forgiveness.
Justice, when doled out by the unjust is a sword that swings both ways and no matter your armor will cut you down just the same.
Love one another, pray for those that would do us harm and lay down the sword.
Be free.
When we are saved do we say thank you? I was saved today by something I cannot explain, it came in the form of a broken GPS. My guiding light literally guided me to safety when I was unaware that my tire had a hole in it.
My GPS started going crazy as I was driving down the highway towards a visit for my job. My gps was working great until all of the sudden the little guiding arrow started floating off the highway. I tried to fix it for a few moments while driving closing it out and even trying different navigation apps all of them had me floating off the highway.
Well I did the only thing I knew to do because I didn’t know how to get where I was going with out GPS, so I pulled off the highway and on to an empty street.
It wasn’t until moments later I looked up and saw that my driver side tire was at 6 psi drastically close to being completely flat and had I been going 80 mphs on a flat tire who knows who I could have put in danger.
I got out of my car and looked at the tire to find a rock and air hissing out.
Something was warning me. Something was saving me. I believe we are all connected and being watched over, this was further proof.
Thank you to that which guides us and protects us.
We have been fed a bill of goods. Told that we can be whatever it is we want to be. Told to believe that as long as we work hard and make good choices that what ever life we choose can be manifested into our reality.
We have been lied to. Because we have been sold someone else’s dream. We have been given someone else’s life and told to make it our own. We have been indoctrinated into the belief that we want riches and fame and material wealth, that this alone will save us. We have been sold the lies that we will be happy once we win the race that we never signed up for but that was forced upon us. We have been forced to compete with one another under the pretense that, “it’s just the way things work.” And we wonder why we hate each other.
We wonder why we are at each others throats fighting for someone else’s prize. A prize we will never see and one that we could never take with us.
We do not have to be subject to these laws enforced upon us by society.
Becoming whatever we want has replaced Becoming who we are. Who we are is deluded and hoodwinked. We want the things we are told to want. We strive for the success that we are told is success and we die on the cross that we are told to die on.
I ask us all to wake up. To see the devil masquerading as a savior. Wake up and stop pretending to be who society, the world wants you to be. Discover who you are and be who you are. Regardless of the fear and vitriol that may be spewed by others.
Who you are is all you ever needed to be. Who you are is a magnificent flower waiting to blossom but told to do it on your lunch break. Throw off the shackles of this world the trappings of success and find out how beautiful and neccessary you are, just as you are.
I ask this of you as I ask it of myself. Unseat the master of your mind and take back control. Look deep with in underneath the thousand forms of delusion and find out who you truly are.
God bless. Its time to fight back.
Here it is the reason our world is in chaos. It is not because America is racist. It is not because the cops are racist. It is not because our President is a moron. It is not because of your sexual orientation or your gender identity. It is not because there are a ton of oppressed people who cannot get out from under their oppressors boot. It is not a global pandemic. It is not victimize-rs against victims.
The real problem we face is a problem of Identity. A problem of trying to control that which is fully and completely out of our control. Not a single one of us chose the color of our skin, our gender, or our sex. We simply were born into it.
When a storm comes I do not yell at the sky and tell it to change, I find shelter and learn to read the skies so as not to get stuck out in the storm.
I was born a white man, well a white baby boy and have thus grown into a white man. However, I was not born on the top of the societal heap. I grew up with an alcoholic father, a single mom and one of five kids. I grew up in mostly black neighborhoods in Atlanta. I was teased, bullied and picked on constantly for my weight, my poorness of which was evident in my old ass clothes and shoes, and yes even my skin color.
I say this because the idea of trauma or victim hood is available in everyone’s life. Unfair and unjust things happen to everyone. To continue to identify with these wrongs is to become imprisoned by them. Learning from them and overcoming them is how we free ourselves. Do you want to be free?
The real Problem we are facing is that we are all tied up in the things that we cannot control or even change. Instead of focusing on that which we can control, such as our attitude or effort. The way in which we interact and speak to another human being. The joy and love we bring to the experiences we find ourselves in is in fact in our control. For true inspiration on this topic see Victor Frankls “Man’s Search For Meaning.” A true story about overcoming being imprisoned in concentration camps and surviving by loving and serving others even when he was being horribly tortured.
This anger and rage I see going on in the world is an obvious response to a crazy world, yet the world has always been crazy, so I believe what has happened is a Crisis of identity.
We look for purpose and meaning everyday in what we encounter and since our lives have become so incredibly convenient we find ourselves struggling to find our purpose. Purpose used to be found in survival, yet our survival is no longer in question. Our purpose used to be found in acquiring goods, yet the mass majority of Americans have more than they could ever need.
When we lose our way as a species we immediately look for it on a surface level, what is here that I can attach to easily because we are terrified of drifting into a meaningless existence.
What if I told you, to drift beyond skin deep is to see the depths of our true purpose.
Would you believe me?
Stop identifying with that which you have no control over. Instead, Identify with that which you can change. That which you can cultivate and grow and blossom.
We are so much more than our skin color, our sexual orientation, our gender and our political beliefs.
If we want true equality we will let go of our differences and begin to see our similarities.
New Episode of our podcast Upon Awakening is Available now click the link below to listen.
Sherrie and I discuss the proclivity we share for trying to pretend like everything is fine when in reality we are a puddle of goo inside. We give thanks to those listening and hope that you all feel welcome here and a little less alone. I know we do. Enjoy.
Raise your hand if you have been wronged by another. Have you ever been made to feel less than, belittled, victimized?
I think it is simple to say that each and every person that has ever existed on this planet has at one point or another been the victim or target of someone else’s malicious hate. As horrible and unfortunate as suffering is the fact remains that we all do suffer.
Now I will speak from experience here and say that when I was younger and was bullied and picked on nothing made me feel more alive than diving to a deep part of my mind and creating waves of unrelenting violence and rage against my oppressor. I went to so deep dark places and sometimes I even acted on these horrible forms of rage and every time I did I came out of it feeling like I lost apart of my soul.
I wasn’t a bad person, I wasn’t a violent person. I love people, usually. Then how is it that some other person or persons can turn me from a man of peace to a man of war? Well, it’s fear. That’s right fear causes me to act in a destructive way to my fellow human that made me feel weak or worthless.
Why?
Well because if they think they can call me names and get away with it than they probably think they can kill me and my family and get away with that also and that is just a bit to far pal.
So, I fight back. I retaliate with reckless abandon and force. I go for the kill before the kill comes for me.
This is the psychology of human survival and it’s the reason the world is in the dumpster right now. We find ourselves at a very difficult time in human history. We are set up with the ability to go about living the way we have for the last 6,000 years killing, raping, stealing and just generally being shit heads to eachother or we can choose something different.
We can break the cycle.
We can break the cycle and I say “we” as in each and every single human being on this planet has the power.
Here is what we must do.
We must forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
We must love our enemies and pray for their freedom.
We must let go of our fear and grab onto our faith.
We must break this cycle of violence. It will not stop by continuing to do violence against one another.
The system is broken, it feeds itself by the destruction of us destroying each other.
The first step to escaping Hell is accepting that you are in it. Then we stop participating in Hellish games.
The cycle will continue until we come to forgiveness not just of each other but of ourselves. We have all been victims and we have all been oppressors. We are not meant to be Judges not of this world and its people.
If you don’t know how to forgive those that have done you harm do not start with them, start instead with yourself and be honest. Have you done harm to yourself, are you living in a loving way towards your own life? If the answer is no, then that’s ok, forgive yourself.
We need Grace now more than ever, the Grace to know that we are imperfect and do horrible things but now that we are aware we can choose to stop the cycle of bad choices and live in a way that is truly free.
If not Forgiveness then what? I am open to suggestions.
Seeking Purpose Today 