There is No Plot. (Language, Violence, and Sex Warning) #writingcommunity #FF

green rice field
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

I have no idea as to which way I am headed, the plot of this story is not thought out, in fact, there is no plot what so ever.

This is a character-driven story, meaning whichever way my character decides to go the story will move with him.

That seems like a great idea, right?  But what a headache, in reality, absolute autonomy to a thought process outside of myself.  He is going to go places and do things I don’t want him to.

He is going to become something I could have never imagined or even wanted.  What if he doesn’t want to play along and decides to be done with the story before its over.

What if creating this character means that he will affect other characters out of my control?

Why is there no plot?

There should be a plot.  Right?

I mean what the hell am I doing here if there is no plot?

(You are experiencing the story for the first time.)

Who said that?

(The story is what you wanted and this is how it’s made.  Do not fear the end or even the middle.)

What? But he could get hurt and die or become a monster.

(That is his choice it is his story, the story is the experience you wanted and this is how it works.)

But wait, I will just come up with a plot real quick, ok?  Like he is going to find the women of his dreams get married have kids and become the hero of his family.

(What if he wants more?)

What, why would he need more than that?

(You did.)

You don’t… he isn’t like me… He…

(You have to allow him to discover each part for himself.  Allow his curiosity to guide him.)

But curiosity killed the cat.  You know the saying.

(And it may kill him, but that is the point in all this.)

The point is to die?

(The point is to experience whatever the heart desires.)

But the heart is a wicked, deceitful place.

(Is it? I think you mistake curiosity for evil)

So, if he is curious about murder, let him do that?  You are nuts.

(What is your fear in all of this?  That he will become a murdering rapist, that takes candy from children and hurts puppies?)

Well yeah, What if he does that?

(Would he be the first?)

No, but there shouldn’t be anyone allowed to do those things.

(Well if we close the available paths, what do you think would happen?)

There would be no murder and rape, no bad stuff.

(and how do you think the world would look then?)

Well, it would be ideal, it would be perfect.

(Is that so?)

Yeah, that’s right.

(When you eliminate any Choice even those that you deem despicable, you eliminate all choice.  The journey isn’t a fork in the road the journey isn’t even a branched tree, the journey is an infinite space with room to move in every direction.)

You mean like the ocean?

(Yes like the ocean, or space or how about your own mind for example? Do thoughts always fork or is it a free flow of things?)

Umm… ugh…

(Don’t ignore the question, it’s obvious. You can hardly control all that floats in and out of your own mind. How do you purpose to eliminate that?)

Fine I get it. It doesn’t make it right. Or even fair.

(Well you know the alternative,  not existing at all. And fair is relative what seems unfair to you seems like someone else’s just reward.)

So what’s the point then?

(You have known it all along. The point is the story, not the judgment of the story. Judgment is not your job. Although people do seem to get paid well to judge it’s not how a great story is made.  Allow the story to be told just as it is, because even after you have written the ending to your story it’s not really the end and you don’t know who the story might effect.)

I think I get it. Why is it so hard to let go?

(Because you want to own the world and everything in it. And you fool yourself into believing you can. You think yourself bigger than you are, you think yourself more than a man.

Let go, let it out, just breath.)

Ok, I think I am ready to write now.

(You Are)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seeking Purpose

photo of a man sitting under the tree
Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

The past month has been a very odd place for me.  I have been happier than I can ever imagine while being in a depressed state.  This might not make sense to you I know it didn’t make any sense to me when it was happening.

However, I have come to realize a lot in this time of low Depressed feeling.  I am not the man I used to be.  I didn’t run from the low searching for another high.  I accepted it as it was and allowed it to wash over me and as I did I fell into a sense of peace.

I have also done a lot of digging and searching through my own morals, values, and goals.  In this, I have discovered something I was terrified of my whole life.  I found a place inside of me that was devoid of fear and anger.  I found the place that did not envy or want, there was no sense of greed or idea of lack.

This was a place I was afraid of because I knew it was available all along but if I ever found it what would my role on earth be anymore.  If I no longer strived for anything, if I no longer craved to attain anything, what was I supposed to do?  Well, I realized the answer to the question in this place as well.

It’s simple really, I do whatever is in front of me.  The blessing is that I no longer have such a preconceived notion to what is coming next as if I were a fortune teller.  I simply do the thing.  The worry, anxiety, and fear gone.

It’s amazing to feel so focused, content and with a sense of breathing out.  A deep rest all the time.

I will continue to do what I have been doing because it has brought me here and its a great place to be.  I have no idea where this is going to move me to in the future, but I am not holding on to what happened in my past as a guiding force for my future.

Whatever will be, will be.  And that’s ok with me.  Because everything is ok with me right now at this moment.

 

“In The Name” (With Audio) #writingcommunity #wakeup #mondaymorning

green leafed plants
Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

Lined up and mixed up.  Shot straight to disrupt. A piece of me that gives up.

Letting go with fist up.

Thirsted cups hung deep with waste, in my mind a ceaseless state.

Helping find my misplaced fate.

It waits for me upon this date

an eternal now holds my call wishing and wanting more… it all

The thing that holds me lost in time

binds me deep retched in frost.

fixed in space forever lost.

searching always for the thing I seek.

never know just how to speak

how to tell the ones I lost

It Was for them I paid the cost

delightful the will and prideful the spine

stood up straight but intertwined

mixed and separate, taken and whole

figuring that… I gave my soul.

I tore my heart and spent my time

I toiled in filth and ran till blind

I missed it all for fear that I’d see

beyond the space holding me

a space so full of weightless grace

a void filled deep with endless faith

a hole designed to create a thirst

that could never be quenched and only gets worse

no better than hate and disgusted with love

it was the box created… from above.

with windowless walls decorated with spice

to trick my nose and insense my eyes

illusioned I was at a mystical place

brought to my knees and sunk to my face

how can it be that all this is real

undeniable suffering… unending I feel.

Have you ever found yourself in this infernal place?

I call to the sky as if it were up

asking for penitence absolution, enough.

Give them hell or free them now,

Either way here is the towel.

Take it and go, I surrender the fight. I lost, I lose

isn’t that right?

I never had, I never gained never acquired or attained

it was all a game…

In The Name of Mine

no more suffering now

I am the Vine.

The Grind

I want to write about “The Grind” something that gets thrown around a lot today.  From athletes to businessmen and women to even those on a supposed spiritual walk.

We attempt to Grind out the last rep, the last phone call the last email or last few words.

I am in a constant mindset of working to earn my achievement and believe that the only way to happiness and success is to Grind and work harder than anyone around me.

To wear myself down to that Ground up nub.  To push myself further than I thought possible, to reach as high as humanly possible to attain the thing that I am craving so desperately that I forgo sleep and relationships.

To move in the direction of my own success for fear that I was put here for the mission to be the greatest writer, the greatest movie star, the richest businessman. all the While I am Grinding my life down to the nub, thinking that once I become this person or have this thing I will essentially prove the worth that I believed I had all along.

Whether it be to myself or to others, it will no longer be in question because the shavings of my success will have been ground out in a path leading to the mountain top, so that people can say “That’s Matt’s Grind right there,”  and I can finally breathe because I did it.

I proved I belong.  I proved I was worthy all along.  I proved them all wrong.  I earned my trophy, it was not handed to me simply for showing up.  I earned it with blood, sweat, and tears.

That is why we Grind, right?  We want that.  We want to prove to ourselves or others, “look what I did, right? Look who I became, from where I was.”

Is that it?

Do we see ourselves so unworthy that we must wear ourselves down to the marrow of our essence to prove to the world that we belong?

I can not pretend that this Grind did not have me.  It stabbed in skewered me, took me hostage broke me down and raised me up to believe it was the only way.

That only by Grinding the 9-5 to Grinding on every rep and little sleep that I could earn my worth that in effect I could acquire my salvation with sweat equity.

That I could punish the impurities out of my life and Grind them down till the only thing left standing was a shinning version of the man I thought deserved a good life and even a good afterlife.

I have starved myself, went days without sleep.  I have taken on more responsibilities and tasks than humanity capable of handling all in the name of “The Grind” and when the accomplishments mounted and the Grind was wearing down the wrong parts of me I wanted it all to end.

I thought, “But I worked so hard and did so much, I gave everything I had in the name of moving upwards in this life.  Why, am I sick and broken?  Why do I want to die?”

As I cried about the life I had made and felt sick for all the mistakes I had made Grinding on to the bitter end to a success I could never reach.

I realized, there is no price to be paid.

No sweat or blood to be given.

I have no business straining and dying for the right to live.

I am already alive.

I have already arrived.

I am here, now.

There is no reason to strive.

To move so hard and so fast towards something already passed.

I think I must earn my way when my way has already been paid.

I give up the Grind and I forget about Me, I am not real.  It is only an illusion you see.

I am nothing, yet still the eternal something.

I am not Me

It’s not.

Grind if you must but remember this.  You can not attain something that doesn’t exist.

UniWeb Interview Show- It’s Over! Thank you Montage #writingcommunity #ff

I want to sincerely thank all the incredible authors and actors that came on the show.  In just over four months we managed to do close to 100 interviews.

By the end of this month, The UniWeb Interview Show will be over 100 interviews strong.

Though the show will not go on, I will continue to do all I can to be of service to the community that has done so much for me.

I will be starting a new series of videos teaching all of us that sit all day at a computer how to correct posture, increase stamina, flexibility, strength, creativity and overall health in just 5-10 mins a day.

Stay tuned we have a lot of new stuff on the horizon.

And Thankyou again, from the bottom of my heart.  It has been an incredible journey.

Please Subscribe to the Channel Today for all the new Videos we will have coming Soon

Just click the link. Subscribe for More Awesome Content.

My Grace- by Matthew Poole: Guest blog #WritingCommunity

Matthew Poole joins the Blog again with another thoughtful piece.

Follow Matthew on facebook@ https://www.facebook.com/authormattpoole and Twitter @https://twitter.com/MdpooleA

His Book “Salt and Light: Being the Hands and Feet of Christ” is available this Septemeber.

I love sharing how others found freedom, redemption, and a new life.  No matter how we come to it. If you would like to share your story as Matthew has done here, please feel free to contact me.

no act

Why are we here? Why are you here? Yes, you, the one reading this. I would imaging you are here because you are seeking purpose today. Well I am here today to tell you “you have purpose”. You have purpose today, and every day you live after that on into eternity. No matter the ups or downs, faults and failures, there is One whose purpose it is to seek you every day. “The Mighty One, God, the Lord”, the One “who speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to where it sets” (Psalm 50:1) wants a relationship with you. He doesn’t need it, it is of no benefit to Him, but all the same…He wants it. And, He wants it so bad that because of our continued faults, our daily failures, He made us a WAY. He opened a path for all of us who don’t WANT a relationship but NEED one.
No matter how impossible we think it is or how “far gone” we believe ourselves to be, remember that the path He made for the, the Way, Jesus said “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”(Matt 19:26) Even the very physical road we walk down toward the grace of God reminds us that it is possible with Him, that His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).
It took me a long time to surrender and allow that grace to be a part of my life, but after doing so, I finally sat down and wrote out how I felt. It was the first time I put to paper (or out in the open for that matter) the feelings that had kept me hostage for years, and I wrote the following in 2018:
So afraid to give it up, nearly scared myself to death
Holding on to pain, I found a sleep that had no rest
I made punishment my home, as though there was no mercy seat
I saw the wreck that was my life, four fingers neat left incomplete

But I kept holding on the flame, not understanding why it burned
Kept drinking down all my faults, never knowing if I’d learn
Like a lemming on the edge, of the fall that waits its turn
Just waiting on surrender, I thought I would never earn

Prepared to help the unfit, yet I felt unfit to live
Chasing bottles down with shame, ‘til I had nothing left to give
Wasted all these years not knowing, life was just a breath
I had one foot in the grave, living a lie that led to death.

Said my will be done, and counted on myself to save
Thinking I was free by choice, not seeing it made me a slave
Leaning on my thoughts, that never truly made much sense
Threw your word out of my hands, left my whole world up to chance

I second-guessed my worth, as though all sin was mine to bear
Treated myself as a curse, I thought it was only fair
Drowning me in guilt, I only had myself to blame
Asking for a change, you brought hope out of the pain

Holding on to grief, as if I was grief itself
Suffocated my reflection, only reaching out for help
But you broke through all my suffering, to show me there was light
And paid the way to grace, taught me I was worth the fight

I have since then written a book that went into details about my troubles, pains, faults, failures, and the grace that God gives not only me, but all of you.
Feeling somewhat down yesterday, I began thinking back on the life I had lived, things I had done, and the feelings that still creep back into my life as of this day, but putting pen to paper once again, I found myself writing of the darkness within me, and in the end, the grace God gives that is miraculous, unmerited, and indeed, sufficient-
The darkness doth remain, burned by pittance as fuel to flame
My life, albeit no allegory, no outward sign of shame
But on the inside, the darkness hides a lurid wraith the same
Just as the eyes forget not the path, so the feet recall the stumble
The trips and falls, the childish crawls
The grave grasps and foolish tumbles
All the shame and sin proclaimed, a sin all men proclaim
Of ignorance, lies, and alibies
And the darkness doth remain
This burning grief a funeral pyre, for the shell that remains, so long that it last
But my soul resurrected, my spirit sustained
Grace hath blot out my past.- Matthew Poole

A Darkness Building Part 2 #writingcommunity #poetry

photography of person wearing hoodie jacket
Photo by Mustafa ezz on Pexels.com

The street lay bare the darkness and blood that lined the place only moments before now still as if it had been there for years.

A quick wind kicked in sending a high hiss through the stale lifeless night.

A streak of crackling light ripped into the midnight, sending electricity sparking in the misted atmosphere.

A rumble initiated the earth, slowly it built picking up in resonance as more light ripped through the sky.

This time the immaculate ignition of the skies lit up mission found the heart of the ground and fractured the site where the Warrior fell.

Light exploded from somewhere in the Hell, the space beyond the spell. The darkness was scorched by a blinding white light.

Screams of horror from the night’s pitch black fight. The minions and demons whaled, injured screams piercing the night.

They recoiled at first then began to draw towards the light.  Gathering their numbers a wave of shadow rolled in. Crashing into the light with force and might.

Washing over the light as the warrior rose his strength replenished sword beaming with bright.

The darkness exploded at seeing the site. The warrior had changed to become something new.

The nothingness that was, gone from him and replaced. The end was no longer the goal of his fight at long last he found his purpose not to end the night but to seek the light.

For this world remains dark and full of hate. The light comes from within something they can never take.

From the nothing to nothing it was thought but the Warrior was something was he not?

He found the link that binds us all, the spark the ignition the internal call.

And raised himself from the infernal place.  No longer looking for a saving Grace.

The peace was within him all along.  No night could steal from him what the night did not make.

His sword he set down as the earth continued to shake and the demons they roared with fear at the sight.

The warrior did something, They could not fight.

His battle was over and his path was clear no demon of hell or minion could stand in the might of the light that shone from this mans surrendered fight.

As the warrior walked through the lightless road the things around him began to grow.

It was never to be that this warrior in his fight

would swing and kill and end the night.

His only job in all of this was to understand he had been searching for what was within.

Dig deep into your soul and find the light.  It may seem to difficult to scary and bare.  It may feel as if nothing is there, but always has been and always will be there can be no nothing without something to see.

 

 

A Darkness Building (Audio) #writingcommunity #poetry

silhouette of man standing against black and red background
Photo by Elti Meshau on Pexels.com

The loss of all life inside the estuary brought about more minions of death and doom than he was able to handle.

His instincts had led him down this road, fighting every demon with righteous wrath and a Feral call to the God of heaven that appeared before him in his darkest moments.

All the sweat all the blood.  All the loss and heartache that had strengthened his resolve had burned a hole in him that was hidden by rage and torn open by fear.

The road was in utter darkness for the way ahead had no end… no finish line.

The warrior’s sword slick with the sinew and death of the battles freshly won only to find more destruction with the next swing.

It was tiring, the endless darkness went on forever only to be ignited by the sheen of the blade as it made contact again with the next.  The spray of blood brought fresh waves of heat and nausea to the worn down warrior.

It would be over soon, he couldn’t continue in this fight for much longer as he poured soul and sword into the oncoming destruction.

He knew there was nothing he could do.  That the only way was to give up because the night would never end.  It was never meant to end, he was never meant to survive.

Yet he strikes with all the fury and fear of a man with a different destiny.  Of a man that believes there is a purpose to the slaughter.

He believes he can win even though there is no winning.  There is only darkness and it will swallow him as soon as he submits.  And then he will be free.

He does not see the freedom in the submission he only sees the failure.

As the Warrior stumbles and slips, the floor wet from the battles.

He trips and falls upon the ground as the minions gather to devour the kill they have been craving.  The one that thought his light could break through.

The warrior who fought for years and years never sleeping or eating, never stopping.  Beating back the plague of darkness that was born only to end him.

Now he stops unmoving save for the heavy falls of his breath from his ragged chest weathered and beaten from the unforgiving battle.

The light lost from his sword now taken in only by the darkness around him.

And

he

is

gone.

A foolish fight, by a foolish man.  To believe he could change anything.  His fight was for nothing and now he joins the nothing.

Because never was he more than nothing.

For all his belief and all his life, he could not overcome the night.

The End. #WritingCommunity #MondayMorning

white and black moon with black skies and body of water photography during night time
Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS on Pexels.com

In the End its all over there is nothing left to give.  I am exhausted and past tired, the mailstrom of worry and self hatred fill every corner of the recessess of my mind.

Until I have run as far as I can go and I have run clear out of time.  I run to forget to escape the invitable end.

I run for sanity for it seems only there it is my friend.

For the insanity bred deep in a dark pitiful hole, that darkest of places of frivoulous laces of decadant traces and misplaced faces.

The Whole entirety of my tired identy left with affinity and bleeds for my serenity.

Yet its the End and I see no way out.  The beatings continue no matter how loud I shout.

The riots break down and shatter the glass it takes all I am, all I have to surpass.

This endless feeling this utter defeat, I am lost I am sickend but still I dig deep.

To a nothingness that surronds me to the nothingness that was, there is nothing inside me not sure there ever was.

I am empty and lost, why am I this way?

There must be something more some point that I missed.

I must be finding the point in all of this.

Searching forever for an end to all that never comes.  Why can’t I see the end is always the beginning and the beginning an end.

I am filled with emptiness yet my hefty thoughts burden my eternal residence. Of misplaced worry and unworthy desire.

If I am real and 99 percent of me is empty space then 1 percent does make a difference it’s the 1 percent that holds me in place.

So what is it? What is the 1 percent? What is the physical expression of a physical dimension?

Its dirt and its sweat. Its blood and its tears, the ingredients are similar through all of the years stars and atoms made of all the same.

Created, manifested, placed in such a way.

Dispersed through the Universe from End to End.

1 percent difference between Now

and Then.

The End.

I don’t know either just writing lines.

“Freedom and the Will to Move Forward: A Compass for Today’s World” by Jamin Chavez. Book Trailer #writingcommunity

I worked with Jamin to help create a book trailer for his work.  I hope you enjoy the trailer and please go check out the book.

“Freedom and The Will to Move Forward” is an exhilarating philosophical guide to locate and nourish our own individual compass.

“One of the most important and fundamental units of society is the family” -Grady Harp Hall of Fame Top 50 Reviewer

“Interesting Book” -Valery E

Look for the compass and the journey begins. What is this compass?

We live in a world of technology, ideologies, and government influence. But, philosophy is at the root of everything and this is about modern day Transcendentalism compared to Romanticism and Intellectualism. Not knowing or misunderstanding these things has the potential to create confusion and misdirection getting us lost. With every opinion of conventional wisdom out there we need to know where we come from, where we are at, and where we’re going. In doing this we need to know how to distinguish various types of information, what we see, and hear.

“Freedom and The Will to Move Forward: A Compass For Today’s World” provides

the reader with a map and guide to find their inner compass, teaching them how to navigate through the noise, find the blessings of spirituality, enjoy love, and draw closer to God. A person cannot use a compass if they don’t have a map.

Purchase a copy today on Kindle or Paperback.

Visit Jamin’s website https://pphccompass.com/Freedom and The Will to Move Forwrd Book Images