Possessed by an Angel of Nonsense:) The Answers to all my questions!

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Being inspired is being in spirit or Possessed by Spirit. I have craved a possession, an overtaking of my spirit my entire life, its why I drank. I still seek a form of being Possessed today, but of a higher source.

Now, do not misunderstand what I am saying. This is not an exorcist kind of deal, ha, that scares the crap out of me.

This is tapping into a higher source of living. I seek possession by the spirit of God, of the Universe, of Love. I am possessed by the idea of leading others to that spirit of inspiration and in so doing, I ask that Spirit into my life. The Spirit of Love and a higher calling shows up every day with answers to my questions. I can become confused and believe the answers aren’t coming.

It’s not that my questions are not being answered; it’s am I willing to accept the answer to the questions I have asked the Spirit of God the Spirit of the Universe.

Two days ago I laid on my couch reading, enjoying being done with a day full of work and blessings. A day in which I felt full of Spirit, and I asked myself “do I really want to reach the level of success that will require me to travel the world and speak to groups of strangers?”

“Do I want to be the person who is so sought after and famous for the writing and speaking I do?”  Getting to a point where days like today, in which I get to lay on the couch and be lazy and read are no longer possible or at least few and far between.

Well, that question was answered yesterday when I woke up. I woke with no will of my own to do any of the things I had committed myself to do, and it was not until the writing of this did I realize that the Universe was not telling me the answer but showing me the answer. Its what I have been taught in writing, show don’t tell. So let me show you.

Yesterday, my commitments overwhelmed me as I squirmed and wriggled in an attempt to lather myself up into a state where I could do all the things necessary for my day, when in fact it wasn’t necessary.  Forcing my will was blocking the spirit from flowing freely through me.

I was, in essence, ignoring the answer right in front of my face, the answer to the question, “do I really want to give up my comfort for a higher calling/” The answer was a resounding Yes, but I couldn’t see it until I took inventory of my day last night and again this morning.

All the goals I have set for myself are daily practices that are leading me into a more prosperous life. They are moving me right into the life I can only dream of.

So, when I asked myself the question of am I willing to give up my comfort for a higher calling, the fact that I wasn’t already aware of the answer was silly.

I am already giving up comfort every day for a higher calling. Why would that change once the success arrives? The answer is it won’t, I will have prepared myself for it.

I did so yesterday when I showed up to my commitments and shared openly and honestly with others about how I was feeling. When I walked into a group, I was leading feeling tired and rundown but doing it anyway and becoming possessed with an energy not of myself but of a spirit of service to others, and to my higher calling.

I want to get on stage and speak to millions of people, inspiring others to live a profoundly deep and meaningful life. One of abundance and wealth in all meanings of the word.

I want to so profoundly change myself that when I come in contact with you or anyone else on this planet they are instantly raised to a higher frequency of living. I want to be remembered for contributing more to the overall wellbeing of the human condition than anyone in history.

Crazy dreams, I know. But, for some reason, they are my dreams, and I know that they were given to me for a reason. So, I have to get very intentional with the questions I ask the Universe in going after my goals. Then, be willing to see the answers that are presented to me.

The answer I received yesterday is that I am already giving up comfort for a higher calling, even when I don’t feel like it and I am not getting paid to do it.

I am still pursuing the spirit even when it seems lost to me. I am already living the life of my dreams and effecting change in the people around me.

I am told on a daily basis by the people I talk to the most how I am inspiring them.

Yesterday when I was feeling down, I shared about it. I opened up and said, “look this is me today.” I was willing to look stupid or crazy, as you can tell I am willing to look crazy this morning, for a greater purpose.

I do not want to stop growing toward my ultimate goal. I want to get better and become better every day. I want to be more explicit about my Why for life, and How I am going to get there. I want to become better at asking the Universe the Right questions even when I felt sick and worn down.

My question yesterday, although I was hurting, was: “How can I be of service to another human being today?” And I didn’t have to wait for an answer, I simply had to become willing to accept the answers that flew at me all day long.

Yesterday, turned out to be a great day, as most days do once I get over the fear of them.

It was a day where so many people reached out to me with love and compassion, with knowledge and understanding.

I want to thank those who read this blog for reaching out and sharing kindness with me yesterday and reinforcing how important it is to be willing to show my weakness even when it is scary.

And to all my friends and family that support me on my Journey of recovery and a higher calling eachday, Especially my girlfriend who is on fire for life when I am not.  She balances me and inspires me everyday with her strength and courage to improve and find her higher calling.

“The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.”  Swedish proverb.

I can only try to get better each day if I am willing to acknowledge that I do not fully understand. Keep learning, keep growing.

Be inspired to inspire, and allow the answers you seek to light up your life.

I Would Like To Give You All That I Have.

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I was reminded yesterday of the power of honesty, how it can be the simplest thing that punches us in the face and we say to our selves, “oh my God, that is exactly what I needed to hear.”

It struck me as funny that when someone shares how they are honestly feeling, all the hurt, doubt and fear, it blows us away. It’s like we are so used to hearing, “I’m fine, everything is fine,” That we forget that under the surface of most of us is a terrifying, fearful, doubt-filled existence.

Which, brings me to my thoughts this morning.

I pride myself on being capable of inspiring and lighting my own fire to get going on a regular basis. In fact, I shared yesterday with a friend of this blog my routine on how I go about lighting that fire every morning. Well, there are no coincidences or accidents in this Universe I believe.  So, this morning when I woke up with a feeling of terror, fear, doubt, and exhaustion, that my disciplined routine was unable to dispell, I had to ask myself, “How can I be of Service today, in spite of how I feel?” The answer is always there if I ask the right question.

The Answer

I used to believe that waking up feeling out of sorts or scared of the future or alone was merely a part of having depression and being an alcoholic. I have come to realize it is something different now.

I believe that on days where I wake up, and I can not light my own fire, when I wake up tired, scared, doubtful, feeling alone and unloved it is for a purpose. That purpose is that  somewhere in the world someone else is in need of whatever experience I have to offer. Perhaps somewhere out there is a person who needs to feel like they can inspire someone and by me being honest and vulnerable about where I am at the moment, I present them the opportunity they were looking for.

I do not believe I wake up sad or fear-filled for no reason. There is a reason, and maybe just maybe, its that someone else needs to see that a person like myself who works extremely hard to inspire others is in fact in need of inspiration and love sometimes.

Maybe others need to see that I am weak and vulnerable so that they do not feel so alone like they could never do what I am doing. Perhaps it is my only purpose on days like today to tell the world that I don’t want to go out into life today and be of service.

I did not want to wake up and run. I did not want to wake up and pray or meditate at 4:30 this morning. I did not want to write this blog, and I do not want to do all the other things on my todo list today.

In reality, what I want to do is curl into a ball in a dark room and cry. I want to run away from the difficult task of living today because walking into darkness every day with a bold face and faith is terrifying, and the effort of keeping myself from shaking from the fear is too much to handle sometimes.

I am tired; I am worn down. I am honestly feeling scared today that the effort of reshaping a life that had been deformed is too big a task. I feel like it is to heavy a weight to bear and I don’t know how I am going to manage it. I don’t know if I am capable of being the man I dream of becoming.

I don’t know if I can bear the weight of success that I am trying to attain and it makes me want to quit.

But I won’t, I learned a long time ago that falling down does not mean that I will always be down. It only means that I need to become better at getting up and sometimes my own strength is not enough to pick myself up.  I must be willing to reach my hand up for help and pray that someone will help me.

I know that I am not alone anymore on this journey of life, that I am surrounded by love and people that always have their hands out ready to help. I am willing to accept the help today when my own strength fails me. Because at some point it will, like today. I have a community of people to lift me up today, and that is a blessing.

When I say I want to give you all that I have, I am speaking to God. I am speaking of providing the good the bad and the ugly. If you couldn’t tell, this was a prayer an admittance of humility and weakness.

Here I am, I need help today. Amen.

Do You Remember What Your Happy Face Looks Like?

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This magnificent piece of art has been valued at over $32,000. I know, it is truly incredible work. If any of you have the distinct pleasure of being my friend on social media, I hope that you do I would love to be your friend, you were treated to a dazzling art show last night by Yours truly. It was amazing the effect it had on me. I want to share some stuff with you today about the seriousness of success and life.

Yesterday was a tough day for me, mentally. I have been focused like a laser beam on changing my life and achieving success. I even wrote about success yesterday. (Disclaimer: Everything I write on here is a lesson I am learning during the day, and a lot of times relearning over and over. It is not Gospel truth, only my thoughts.)

Anywho, I had just finished writing, 3 Myths of Success, and was about to get back to work on the current book I am writing, which I am 50,000 words into after two weeks of work and my third book in 4 months. “The Laser Beam is Focused!!!”

When a chill hit me, and my body and mind felt like I had been hit by a freaking double-decker bus loaded with rocks. I was shaking, had the chills and could hardly stand or keep my eyes open. I thought I caught the flu.

So, I wrapped myself in layers of clothing and blankets and laid down. Two hours later I woke up feeling worse, but I had work to do dangit, and my life isn’t going to change itself.

So, I took an aspirin and drank an energy drink and pumped out another 2500 words on my Novel. I also ran a book promotion and created a Pay it forward challenge on my twitter for other Independently published authors, wrote back to emails, and even started reading all the Indie author books I bought so that I can start a review blog for the books I am reading, to support the work of others.

Are you tired? I was, God how exhausting. I have been so focused on building this successful life that I forgot what enjoying life looked like. I chained the poor inner child inside of me to a desk for the past four months and asked him to produce magic. Barely ever allowing him out to play.

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It was 6:00 pm last night and I didn’t want to move, think or do a freaking thing. I was laying on the couch in three layers of sweats shivering. I was sure I was sick, and I was, just not physically.

A thought came to me; “it would be fun to draw with my colored sharpies.”

So, I got up grabbed my notebook and four sharpies and went to work on the incredible artwork that you see on this page.

The effect was almost immediate for me, and it spread. I was laughing so hard at the ridiculousness at what I had drawn that it brought me to tears and I had to share it. It also made my girlfriend laught to tears, I’m not sure how my friends on social media responded but, whatever. Something changed in me.

The little kid that was chained to the desk and forced to succeed was laughing like he hadn’t laughed in what felt like months. It was like I wasn’t seeing with my eyes. It was like seeing with my soul, like how a bat uses echolocation to map a cave or area. My laughter was echoing and mapping my success and happiness. Oh yeah, this is why life is so incredible.

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This is why being sober rocks. This is why I am writing and trying to inspire others to have a great life; because having a great life is Freaking Great, and it is as simple as allowing that little kid inside of me to draw stupid stick figure pictures and Remember My Happy Face.

All the world was right again; I felt healed. I wasn’t coming down with the flu. I was working myself ragged and forgot to enjoy the wonderful life that was being created. And guess what the Universe, God, Oprah, Science or whoever, affirmed my realization this morning when I read my daily devotional from AA, it read:

“Having Fun YET?… We aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.” pg,132 AA

It doesn’t get much clearer than that, at least not for me.

Oh, yeah the pictures. You know who valued them over $32,000, that was me. Because I think they are worth more than I could honestly ever put a number on. If you want to buy them, you can purchase them with your laughter. As soon as you laugh, the picture is yours forever to keep.

Show me your happy face. It is dying to light up your life.  Here is mine.  Haha.

Have a Great day, laugh a bit, it’s medicine.

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3 Myths of Success: I Wrote Them So They Are True :)

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So, You want to be successful in life, Huh? Well, welcome to the Human Race. Stop me if you’ve heard this before.

If only I had a million dollars my life would be better.
If only I had that person’s Talent my life would be easier.
If only I had this job, I would feel secure
If only I had a better relationship I would be happy

And a thousand other “IF” only statements. Here is the first Myth about success, are you ready? Of course, you are because if you only read the right thing your life would be different.

Myth #1
Success will make my life easier!~ Well, this is the whole: if I had a million dollar scenario, or made some viral youtube video that brought me instant fame, then my life would be exactly the way it is supposed to be.

Here is the deal folks and I am really reminding myself here. Success is not going to show up and remove all the problems from my life, like some sort of super-powered crap sucking vacuum.

Success is a weight of responsibility; I must become strong enough to carry. Otherwise, it will crush me. It is why we see so many examples of “famous for no reason people” falling apart at the seams in public. They are currently not strong enough to bear the immense weight required of incredible success. So be patient, if I am to be successful, it is going to take time to become strong enough to hold the weight.

Myth 2:

I must Chase after Success~ Why do I run away from a massive dog that wants to eat me? Well, duh. It is because I am scared and don’t want to be eaten. Some people chase after success like a rabid dog and wonder why they are so exhausted and left starving at the end of the day.

I submit that we don’t have to run ourselves ragged chasing after something. That is not to say we do not have to improve. Because we must focus on ourselves and get better, but chasing after a million dollars or fame or glory or love all we end up doing is scaring that stuff off. I believe that we attract success by being worthy of it. That means that whatever level of life I am at right now, I can honestly say that even if I had millions of dollars and fame, love, glory and all the shiny things, I wouldn’t change the things I am currently doing.

Not would it give me a platform, but would it raise my platform? Because believe it or not we all have a platform to influence and be the most successful versions of our selves at the level we are at right now.

If you live in a trash can, help the guy sleeping on the street find a trash can of his own to live in. Don’t limit your ability to be a world changer because you feel you don’t have enough yet. When we practice this, living at the height of where we are right now our platform raises, and we don’t even notice it until more and more people start putting those gold medals of success around our necks.

Bonus on this one. You have to be willing to throw yourselves to the wolves and get chewed up. I submit that we learn to become dog trainers in doing so we no longer have to worry about the wolves eating us because we will teach them to follow us instead. (Lots of dog metaphors today.)

Myth3:

If it doesn’t come easy, it’s not meant for me.~ Ok, this can get confused with chasing after success or grinding. It is not that. The reality is just like Myth 1; success does not make life easier it makes life heavier, higher, more impactful.

So here is my thought on this:  (Which means it is the only right way, haha)

Imagine a small village of around 100 or so people. This village requires water every day, but only has two buckets to fill at the well, and there is only one person in the village strong enough to carry the water. So, every day the person gets up and walks the path to get the water, and the path is long, it is really far away.

Deciding that having someone to help with the water choirs would be nice, the person brings their child along with them to get the water. And the first few days the child could barely make the journey, it was just so far. The child begs their parent to let them stay home, but the parent tells them no, you must walk.

Days, weeks, months and years pass, and every day the child walked the path with their parent. Only walking, not yet strong enough to carry, but now the child was getting older and stronger. The child was running the path now back and forth running circles around their parent. Until one day, the parent who had taken care of the village for so many years died. The responsibility now fell in the hands of the child. And when they put on the yoke to carry the water, it was lighter than they expected. They had grown so strong from walking the path every day that now they were able to bring water back to the entire village making multiple trips a day.

It won’t feel easy at first. It will feel hard for a long time maybe, maybe it won’t, but eventually, the weight of success will be placed on your shoulders. Will you be strong enough because you didn’t stop walking the path when it got tough, or will you be able to take care of the village that needs you to survive.

Keep going, keep working and loving and living. We all have a gift to share with the world. Be ready when the world drops the weight of success on your shoulders. Because it is coming, I promise.

Have a great day.

Getting Off The Perfect Hook: How I Came to Forgiveness

 

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I stood in the parking lot of my apartment complex this morning crying. Looking up at the radiant light of a full moon, I was overwhelmed by a feeling. It wasn’t the freezing cold weather; it was something much more powerful. This morning after my work out, I was walking home from the gym, and I received an email. The first email of its kind in my life. This was an email from Amazon Publishing.

“Dear Matthew, Your Royalties for your published work are on the way.”

It included a lot more, but that is the gist of it. After ten years of destroying my life through addiction and alcoholism, I was finally doing something I loved, and now I am getting paid to do it. I have chronicled the story of my past six months in sobriety on here multiple times already, but I wanted to let everyone know, that if I can go from being at deaths doorstep to writing two books in three months and now getting paid to do so. That anyone of you can do it too. I promise it is not as impossible as you think. But, I had to get past some Hurdles first, and that brings me to the reason for writing this morning.

Forgiveness:

Oh what a word of immense weight. I want to tell you how I came to forgiveness and how it has unchained my entire life.

Forgiveness is one of my cornerstones for living now, but It occurred to me in the most intensely painful ways.

Here is how it happened and what I learned:

Eight years ago, something terrible was done to someone I loved very much. Something that was hidden from me and swept under the rug by the person I loved the most in the world. I was looked at in the eyes and told that nothing happened. This person looked me in the eyes every day for years and told me they loved me, and I believed them not having known what they did.

Well, eight years passed by and my marriage fell apart, I was unable to see the person who had been hurt anymore, and I had a nagging feeling of something being off. Until, finally the person who hurt my loved one confessed, they stepped forward and told me. It was the reason why I no longer had a relationship with the victim of the hurt; it was the reason I drank to the brink of death. It was the person who had spent all those years telling me they loved me and that they didn’t know what happened, who committed the attack.

The rage and anger I felt was more than anything I had known was possible for me. I lost control of my mind and slipped into deeper depression and alcoholism. The thought of: “I do not want to live in a world where this type of evil is allowed,” occurred to me over and over as I drank poison to kill my self and prayed that it would destroy the other person as well.

I was stuck; I was hung up and left for dead, on a hook. A hook that I created, a hook that was built out of my own fears and failures. A hook made from hate and anger, judgment and resentment. Again, I was stuck. I was dangling, without hope. Staring down at the world pointing my drunken finger, screaming “You… You did this to me! I didn’t deserve this Hell!” I yelled at the world. Until, as an act of Providence God showed up next to me.

Looking at the world with me, Tears in his eyes. “He said, Matt. Can I show you something?” I answered yes, being at the point of death by suicide.

He wiped his hand across my eyes clearing away all the insanity and fear, pain and loss, judgement, and hate, like wiping mud of a windshield. Until I could see with my REAL EYES.

The world I was pointing at flipped. It was a mirror, and in this mirror was me. I was hanging on my Perfect Hook, pointing my finger, but now I was pointing at myself.

That is when everything changed — I “REAL EYES-ED” that I was playing God.

I was Judging the world in which I lived by a standard that I, myself was utterly incapable of living up too. I pointed and screamed at others making mistakes, saying “Look at you, you don’t deserve to live or have a good life. Look at the evil you have done.” All the while I couldn’t see myself and the evil I was committing every day. I was holding the world to an impossible standard and in so doing, holding myself to the same.

I was Stuck, but the day of my salvation came when I took my self off That Freaking Perfect Hook and set myself next to the person who committed the unthinkable evil as much as it hurt and believe me it freaking hurt.

I REAL EYES-ED that I must be willing to forgive others, let them off the hook that I was dangling from, or I will die.  I coud not continue to think that I was better or above making mistakes.

Because the reality is, I have done some Evil and Horrible things in my life, things I wish never happened, but they did. It is unfortunate, but I can either learn to let go, do better and forgive or die hanging myself by unrealistic expectations.

I wrote this yesterday: We are imperfect people, and we will always be this way. It was not until I was willing to let other people fail, make mistakes, and be a freaking human being that I was able to allow myself to do the same.

I could have died a hundred times by now with the way I drank and lived my life. But, I haven’t.  I am alive, and I am still failing. But, I am no longer coming from a mindset of; “I must do this perfect or I won’t do it at all.”

I now come from a place of, “I may screw up and fail miserably, but I am going to try with all my heart and soul to do the very best I can. And I do that over and over and over again each day.

My life has become one in which I never fathomed possible for myself. It is beyond my wildest dreams. I am being paid to write books and do what I love now. How great is that?

But, It is only a reality because I stepped back into reality.

I stopped blaming others for my life. I stopped judging others failures and screw-ups as if I didn’t screw up myself. I started forgiving people for being humans and being weak, vulnerable and sometimes scared.  Scared enough to make horrible decisions as a result. And yes, I forgave the person that hurt the person I loved.

I make a choice every day to continue to forgive. Because, in the end, we are all human, we are all flawed, and we will all fail sometimes.

I choose to forgive so that I can continue to move forward with my life and live an extraordinary life; Because that is why we are here, to experience all the wonderful, beautiful, fantastic, amazing things in life.

We were not put here to be miserable every day with thoughts of ending our own lives because this life is too difficult. We are meant for so much more.

Go and get more. Who do you need to Forgive? Let yourself, and the rest of the World off the hook and move on with your life, because you are Worth It.

Have a great day.

Potentially, The Best Article Ever!

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Uncork the stopper, open the box, let loose the wind from whence your life depends on sailing freer and higher than you ever thought possible. Allow your potential to guide you.

The word Potential struck me this morning during meditation. It lit up in my brain like a big neon pink sign asking, “Do you have any idea who I am?” It dawned on me. No, I really didn’t know, Potential. I had an idea about what it was, but I think I have been missing the mark. If you are anything like me, then you have had people in your life tell you, “You have so much potential, I know you could be doing more,” and this one statement from others has driven the majority of my life. I believed I had this potential and that I should be doing more. But, as hard as I tried and as much as I pushed, working on every aspect of my game the life I was looking for seemed to only get farther away, which confused the hell out of me.

I see it like this now, Potential is not a jar to be filled or a mountain to be climbed, because those things mean that there is an end a finite amount of what I can have. Saying to someone, if you lived up to or fulfilled your potential, is an incredibly limiting statement for me. Because as a human being, as a critically flawed person, I have come to the realization that I will never, ever, be perfect. So, I will never fill the meter, or reach the highest high. Because there is not one for me, because I am imperfect, and in that way, I am unlimited in my ability to grow. There is no cork to pop or box to open, and no ceiling to break through. There is only progress in a specific direction. Stay with me here.

I realize that potential is not fulfilling anything, it is harmonizing on the frequency of the note that I was meant to play.

Imagine you are a tuning fork and you are working on getting all your strings tuned to perfection, but only one seems to harmonize just right, the rest no matter how hard you work or try, just won’t harmonize. Now you could spend the rest of your life tuning your guitar in an effort to make all the strings sound just right, or you could get in line with the cord that is in perfect harmony and pitch with you and follow that bad boy as far as it will go.

Do not deny the world the harmony you were sent here to bring because you are worried about the sound of your weaker strings. Play that damn cord, and have faith that if you keep playing others will begin to join in around you playing their one beautiful chord as well, until you look up and you are making beautiful music with the whole freaking world, You Rock Star!

I spent a lot of my life out of tune, out of harmony with myself. Afraid to play the chord I was given because I was so focused on the chords that didn’t work. The reality is those chords were never mine to play, the chord I was meant to play resonates deeply within me. It is the effortless one, the one that brings me so much joy, and also brings joy to others. When I play my chord to its potential, harmonizing with it until my whole body shakes, then I allow the rest of the world to join in the music and harmonize right along with me.

What does this mean?

So, I’ll wrap it up because I can confuse myself sometimes. Here’s what it is. I am imperfect, always will be. My potential does not require me to fill it up or to reach it. My potential requires me to harmonize with it and play the note as long as possible; It is my best note. Do not allow the feeling of inadequacy in some area’s of your life stop you from playing incredible music, just play the chord you were given and let that mother trucker sing.

Hope you enjoyed this, have a great day.

The Time Paradox: A Beginners Guide to Making Your first Million!

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What if I told you that by you spending 5 mins reading this article you would be on your way to making a million dollars.  Would you keep reading? Or would you say, “meh, let’s see what else is available.”

I find this a curious Paradox of the way we spend our time. I will speak for myself, here.  For years I was of the impression that all I needed was one opportunity one chance to prove just how valuable I was to the world and the world would, in turn, would repay me with fame and fortune.

Am I alone here, or have you believed this too?

It seems to me to be a part of my human conditioning that I must overcome and work towards rewiring.  The truth of the matter is, I am given opportunities to prove myself every single moment of my life. Its called Time management, and for almost 32 years now, I have been an absolute idiot with my time.

I have spent it pointing fingers at how others made my life harder, wasted it with social media, alcohol, bad relationships, and other addictions and time drains that did nothing but waste my time and opportunities.  The fact of the matter is if you are still reading this you have realized something about time as well.  It is that time is the one resource that all of humanity has in equal amounts.

While I can stand up and say that my path may be easier than yours.  You may have a world of challenges in front of you, that may be true.  I can not say that I have more available time to make my life and my gifts manifest.  This is the reason I started waking up at 4:30 every morning, and trust me at 4:30 am I am not always on fire for life, but that’s ok.  I have invested in using my mornings to ignite the fire in my day.  I have begun to manage the time that is available to me or if you prefer leverage my time to my advantage.

Its why upon awaking the first thing I do is pray.  Now if you are thinking about stopping here, just hear me out. Praying can be a scary thing for alot of people, it was for me, for a long time. Until I realized the reason it was so important. Prayer is a chance to control the tornado of thoughts in your mind into a focused intention for your day, like shooting a laser beam into the Universe writing exactly what you need from the day among the stars.  If you don’t believe in God don’t worry about it, believe in getting intentional with your thoughts to make your life better. That’s why you are here right?

You want the secret to that million dollars and how to make your life better?

Well here it is: Stop pointing at the man or women with the million dollars and saying that should be me not them.  Instead realize that could be you.  You could be rich beyond your wildest dreams, living the greatest life you could ever imagine.  I had to start pointing the finger at myself and saying that man with all the money, and fame and all the things I want from life, he started with the exact same amount of resources that I did.  He had 24 hrs to make, do, and invest in what ever he thought necissary to be worth that million dollars.

Because that is what it is, IT IS A CHOICE of whether or not I am willing to invest each moment to becoming the man worth a million or even billion dollars.  How important is it to me?  Do I really want that lifestyle?  Do I really want the responsibilty associated with being in the spot light and having so much money?  For years I answered a profound, NO! (but also cried that I was broke)  To that question.

I was terrified, what if I couldn’t maintain the success and ended up just embarrissing myself?  The fear kept me from moving towards the life I knew I wanted, and it was honest fear because at that point if I did get a million dollars and fame I would have blown it and thrown it all a way.  Just like I did with the small ammount of money and fame I was given.  I wasn’t ready for that level of success.  That level of success is earned and reearned evey day in every moment.

My friend shared a telling stat with me last night. Warren Buffet one of the wealthiest people on the planet spends 80% of his day reading.  80 freaking percent.  Warren Buffet, still, after making all the money he has made, investes the majority of his day in growing and learning to stay at the top.  It is not a flipping, flapping accident that some people are living the most incredible lives they could ever wish for while others are begging and pleading with a God they don’t understand or even hate, why me, why does my life suck!  The truth is it sucks because, I suck.  Haha, it’s true I was no good at life for a long time and I am just now starting to understand what it takes to get better.  And I also had to ask myself.

Why not me? Why do I deserve an amazing life?

What am I doing with My time? Am I investing in uncovering, discovering the gifts that I was specifically sent to this planet to share with the world?  Or am I doing like I did for almost 32 years wasting time, on social media, watching tv, partying, drinking, drugs, bad relationships, dead end jobs?  Ask the questions and answer them honestly, or lie to yourself and say “pfft, I dont really need a million dollars.  People with millions of dollars are jerks.”

I am done telling myself lies about money, success and a happy life, to hell with that.  I am going to invest my time into becoming the man worthy of a million dollar paycheck every week, worthy of a beautiful fufilled life.  Because, the only difference between me and the man that already has it ,is that the millionaire decided years ago to start investing every moment of his life into becoming the Millionare.

Will you?

Don’t waste your most precious resource, don’t let another second of time slip by you.  Account for each moment and every moment will count.  Like compound interest, invest in the stock of your life and watch the market rise.

And if you actually read this whole thing, give yourself a hand and don’t just like this, but share with me in the comments what you are doing to become the person of your dreams.  If you are just skimming post and not truly investing in what has been written you are wasting your time.

Have a Great day.

 

Focus: The Power of Clairity to Change Your Life

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I could have said it was a coincidence. I could allow myself to believe that there was no intrinsic or more profound meaning to it. I could even say that it was pure dumb luck. But then I would be lying to myself, and I had to quit that along with the Alcohol.

I have shared on here a couple of times now about my road to recovery and the gifts I have found in my sobriety. Well, guess what another gift showed up last night. First a quick recap:

6months ago: Dying (Literally) from alcoholism, not the joking kind of dying like, oh if I eat another piece of cake I am going to die kind of thing. I mean waking up every morning throwing up blood and then reaching for the bottle of Vodka to wash the taste of decay and death out of my mouth, Dying

4Months ago: I am two months sober, my body and mind are beginning to heal and the program of AA is working wonders in my life. I am also spending a lot of time reading other literature to discover what I want to do with my life now that I am free of Alcohol. So a friend and I spend a lot of time at Barnes and Noble, reading books, playing scrabble and just talking about our likes and dislikes. When I stumble upon a book called: You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I began to read the book, and the lights begin to turn on in my mind.

3months ago: I went on a job interview for work that I thought I wanted, only to experience the most humiliating defeating job interview of my life, I actually left covered in sweat and blood, all mine thankfully. That day I made a decision. I was going to follow some simple principals laid out in the book I just read and go after what I really want in Life, saying to Hell with all the limiting, self-defeating stories I have been telling myself my whole life. And I went back to the thing I had loved to do since as early as I can remember. I began to write stories.

1month ago: I began work on my now published book Trent Foster and The Council of 10. I wrote this freaking book like my life depended on it because I honestly believed it did.

WHY FOCUS & CLARITY MATTER!!

I had set a list of goals for my writing career, created a vision board, hung my check, which I will receive one day and even hung a list of the top 13 bestselling Authors of All time in my room. I was hungry and wanted to be the best.

The Goal that sticks out to me today is: I will become an Amazon and NewYork times Bestselling Author. I know that is something I want and I am working every day to make it happen.

Here is the Magic of Focus and Clarity: You ready?

Yesterday: The very same Author a #1 New York Times BestSelling Author, Jen Sincero; who wrote You Are a Bad Ass, just so happened to be stopping by Atlanta only 20 mins from where I live to do a book signing. Not only that, but it was one of her smaller more private events taking place in a Barnes and Noble. Not only that, but me and my friend who 4 months ago sat in B&N looking at this book got Front Row seats Directly in front of Jen. Not only that, she had a Q&A portion in which I made the decision to raise my hand and tell her what her book had done for me and actually got a chance to give her a copy of the book that she helped inspire me to write. Not only that, but I also got a picture with her and some Bad Ass tips.

So, here is the point.

I became very clear with my goals of wanting to become a bestselling Author, and what happens? Not just any best selling Author shows up, but The best selling Author that inspired me to start writing shows up! 20 days after I finish my book She helped inspire me to write and because my friend is clear about what she wants as well, she discovered Jen was going to be in town the night before she comes to town.

I want to make this clear, I have never been to a book signing or met any famous people before in my life or anyone with #1 anything attached to their name (Mom & Dad’s dont count in this). So this was my very first encounter of this type, and it is not a Freaking Accident People.

I know WHAT,, and WHO, and WHY, I want to be what I want to be. I am crystal clear on it. However, I was not clear on exactly what it looks like. Well, last night I got to see a glimpse of what it looks like, and I am going to tell you something. My ass was on fire to be the best and write what I love every day to inspire others and change my life before this happened. But, this morning I am radiating with the energy and fire of what my life can look like.

So, I implore each and every one of you that reads this. Get as clear as you possibly can about what you want out of life and then set about each day to make that happen. You never know when the opportunity will come to share what you did with the person that inspired you.

Hell, I gave her my book, Ha, the idea still blows my mind. She could read it and love it or hate it. But I gave it to her because she gave it to me first.

Get out there and get moving, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.  And You Are A Badass!

 

A Limitless Reality- Fueled by an Unlimited Belief

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Here hold my box,” I said shoving a sizeable brown box into my friend’s hands.

“What, why? What’s in the box! What’s in the box, Matt! What’s in the box?” they said trying to be funny.

“Oh nothing, just God.” I folded my arm’s and closed my eyes with a satisfied smile on my face.

“No way. How did you get God in a box? That is like catching a rare Pokemon.” They said looking in amazement at the box.

“Nah, it was easy, God let me do it. He said I could put him in the box as long as I was willing to deal with the consequences.”

“What consequences?” They said now a bit concerned holding the box away from them.

“Bah, nothing serious. He just said that I would have to manage life on my own if I kept him in the box. Fine by me. I am awesome.” I stuck my chest out and walked off leaving my friend holding the box.

Two months later:

“Hey man, I still have that God box you gave me. What do you want me to do with it?” My friend asked, with a concerned look on his face. He was staring at me, and I could tell what he was thinking. What happened to this guy covered in dirt and grime, smelling to high heaven and swaying either exhausted or drunk?

“Please, you gotta open the box to let God out. I was wrong; I have no idea how to handle my life. Everything I had worked so hard for is gone.” I was pleading with my friend weary and exhausted from two months of Hell.

“Uh, ok man relax. I have the box right here. Oh, hold on it say’s here on the top that you have to open it. I can’t do it for you.” My friend looked at me with pity in his eyes.

“Fine get out of the way, I will do it. God please, no more boxes. You can take every aspect of my life and do with it what you will.”

With that the box flew open and like a genie bursting from a magic lamp the unlimited beliefs of a God of my understanding began to change every broken and ruined thing in my life, restoring it all. But I had to allow God to do it. I had to open the box and get out of the way.

I’ learning through the program of AA that my character defects keep me from being of full service to God and Others. Those defects are essentially a box that I shove God into.  Self-doubt, ego, Narcissism, arrogance, and so many more. By asking God to remove the things that limit me, I unbox an Unlimited God into my life.

Because the reality is I am no fortune teller or prophet. I am not the smartest or most handsome or interesting man in the world. Pretending that I am any of these things is saying that I am the pinnacle and I limit myself from growth. I limit myself from others where I could learn or love. I must not be so Overconfident in my ability that I allow it to kill me before my time. Instead, I discover that I can live the most incredible and beautiful life I could ever imagine by unboxing God and getting out of the way.

Life is better that way; It is for me at least.

Have a great day.

Committed to The Process, Not The Result.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Unlike all my other posts, this one is not full of sexy, exciting, flashy information (tongue, meet cheek). This is a letter to myself and the rest of the world about what it really means to commit to something, and how I have come to learn the importance and the absolute necessity to commit to a daily process as opposed to a glittery, sexy reward.

Yesterday, was a day full of frothy emotional turmoil with flipping stomachs and wishful thoughts of becoming a magician and making myself disappear. “What happened yesterday?” You ask. Well, yesterday I had to dig into a painful place for myself. I had to figure some stuff out and remember my “Why” and also figure out how to refocus.

I received my first professional review yesterday from Online Book Club, and while it wasn’t terrible:

“This book contains a fantastic adventure. From the first explosion, the action takes off running. Once Trent comes into his powers, things get even more interesting, as his abilities seem almost limitless. This could have had the effect of making Trent overcome everything too easily, but the author did a great job of keeping the threat real. “

It wasn’t great either:

“While the story had a lot of potential, the writing left me wanting. The attitudes of many of the characters were cynical, which is putting it mildly. Almost any time someone was genuine or heartfelt, at least two other characters would make fun of that person for thinking something nice. I wonder if this was supposed to be humorous, and if it had been a few isolated incidents, it may have been. But it happened so much that I got to the point where I just wanted anyone to be supportive of anything.”

The fact that they really enjoyed a fantastic adventure but felt the characters were too cynical left me feeling lost and upset with myself that I did not convey the message of the story well enough. I was seriously questioning even finishing writing the current book I am working on. My doubt and fear HAD me by the throat yesterday, because of my very first ever professional review, and I felt sick.

Looking at it now I realize that it was the absolute best thing that could have happened. The book received a star rating of 2 out of 4 by the way, for grammar mistakes and Cynicism.  Which was a main theme in the story because the main character was an alcholic that felt he had no one on his side.  But that is where I need to become clearer with what I am trying to convey.

Anyway! 

A little back story.  I wrote, Trent Foster and the Council of 10, in 3 weeks, edited it in 4 days and published it. My ass was on fire for everyone to read the first novel that I imagined was life-changing because it was for me. Writing this book changed the way I viewed what I am capable of. But the result of rushing through the PROCESS of publishing meant that I set the book up to fail.

I was so enamored with the result of what I believed the book could do for my life; I shortchanged the Process of actually making it the absolute best it could be. It is why every successful writer goes through multiple drafts before putting their work out to the public; they don’t write one draft run it through some grammar software and publish it, because they are Committed to a Process of Success not the Idea of a Result.

I had to ask myself some hard questions yesterday, (hard for me anyway.)

  • Am I willing to commit to doing what the most successful writers in the world do or do I just want to be Mediocre Matt always chasing a feeling or result?

I learned through the program of AA that by committing to Thoroughly following the path that has been laid out before me by the men and women who have successfully stopped drinking and are living good lives, that I can too. I can have a wonderful life and I sure as Hell do have a wonderful life, by following and practicing the principals in AA. But, my success doesn’t have to stop there. If I am willing to COMMIT to practicing a Thorough approach of self-discovery and self-improvement in every aspect of my life, then the successes that happen in my life will be astonishing.

I realize that when I feel stretched thin and all over the place it is probably because I am not focused on any one thing, and I am trying to focus on many things.

I have made a recommittment to myself today, and I must recommit every day that I will focus on the process by which a successful life, career, family, etc. is made. I will leave my thoughts of results and goals for my vision board, always there but not my main focus. My main focus must be to improve in every aspect of my life that is meaningful to me, and the only way I have found to do that is by COMMITTING to the process by which a successful life is made.

Anyway I got back to work yesterday on the current book I am writing, keeping in mind the areas I need to improve and grow.  Because, I do want to be a great writer and that doesn’t happen by accident.  It happens by committing myself to doing what great writers do.  Never stop writing and never stop improving.  

“I don’t trip and fall into a good life. I do the actions required of a good life, and the good life shows up.” – I am qouting myself.  Ha

What aspects of your life are you not committing to that you want to see improve?