You Are The Savior of The World.

 

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It’s Christmas morning and it’s time for presents so I’d like to present you with this.

No one is coming to save me from my life. No one is coming to forgive me of my sin and no one is coming to avenge the world and cleanse it of all the evil.

No one is coming because I am already here, You are already here, We are here.  I must understand that it’s my job to save myself, to forgive myself and to love myself.

We spend our whole life waiting for a savior and in so doing spend a life time saying, “not my job, not my responsibility, I’ll let God deal with you.” What about us? What the heck are we doing here if not saving our selves if not loving and forgiving ourselves.

How can I believe I am so weak and worthless that I can’t even be trusted with my own life? Of course mistakes will be made they always are, but no one is free from mistakes, that’s the human part of us. The part that “ers”

The only thing waiting for a savior does is allow me to judge and exclude those I deem unworthy or lost causes, I take on the power of the Old God and damn people saying “may God save their soul.” Well what about me, wasn’t I lost just like that? Wasn’t I completely unredeemable?

We can spend our existence waiting for a magical, idealic person to show up and save us from all that binds us to this world or we can open our eyes and see that we already are here.  The gift is in each one of us. The grace and mercy required for salvation is in each one of us and to continue to deny it is to say, “no thanks that’s to scary, who will I become if I don’t hold on to these old stories”?

Right, who will you become? Who will we become when we wake up and answer the call to be the hero’s of our own stories.  The stories we tell ourselves of why we can’t save ourselves are diverse but boil down to this. “My identity belongs to this story and with out this story of the people that hurt me, the shortcomings and ineptitudes, the people who did and don’t believe in me. The I’m too Fat to Skinny not Smart enough, strong enough or brave enough. The I don’t have this so I could never have that.  And with out that identity, I am lost.

They are all just stories keeping us from seeing the real truth.  A savior of the world was born today, and every day but that savior must die to the old ideas and awake to the new self the fully realized self.

It may not be easy to hear but we can accept the role of savior just as we have accepted the role of victim.

The greatest power we have is to choose.  As Jesus said, “No man taketh it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received from My Father.”

To understand this is to be set free.  We never have to run and hide waiting for a savior again because we are already here. Take up the responsibility of your life and your life will be yours.

Save your world, even Captain planet new the truth. The power is yours.

Check out the podcast for more on this and all things awakening.

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/You-are-the-Savior-of-the-World-e9p33n

I Don’t know what the Hell I’m doing.

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Big surprise I’m sure. Matt has no idea what’s going on. No answers or solutions to any of the problems facing him today.  Honestly, for the past few days I have felt lost, completely for the most part disconnected from the source. This after feeling so absolutely connected only days prior.  It absolutely blows, it feels like sadness, loneliness, being incomplete and unworthy.  Days in which I feel lost and I don’t know are like days I’m searching for air and it’s nowhere to be found.  How can I go from a place of deep knowing and understanding of feeling so convinced that the path I’m on is correct and im  doingthe right things, to “where am I and what is this place?”

Logically it makes no sense, what I’m really saying is it’s nonsense. “I should know, I should always know, I am the great and powerful Bing bong after all.” (A name I gave myself to play with the sillyness of the importance of who I think I am).  But I think I should always know and yet I have fallen in love with the feeling of discovery, which would be impossible if I always knew, what a lame paradox or a saving Grace.

I don’t know and that’s the point of this writing. I get caught up alot in thinking I have the answers because you know who is worthy in society in this physical world, strippers… No… Kinda… But not right now, problem solvers and as a man with an ego bigger than I deserve I want to be that problem solver in all instances.  You know what feels really good right now is saying I don’t know, I have no freaking clue about what’s coming, or what’s going for that matter I only know that I don’t… Know.  Ahhhh, freedom.  That’s right I have now idea and as much as I’d like one I would really like to not care for a bit. I spend alot of time caring actively for how I treat people and myself, how I Love and connect and discipline myself to be on the correct path.

The real issue is I say I’d like to not care but that’s not true and not even possible, I care like a real mother Terresa, oh what a world.

What a world indeed.  We are playing the cosmic peek-a-boo.  The knowing we are one with God followed by the Vail covering our Real Eyes from God all so that we can be in Bliss of the return to seeing God. A fascinating display of the search for fullness in this life.  I don’t know so that I may know is the most spiritual way I know of saying it.  I don’t know so that I may be in awe of the discovery all over again.

However, this will eventually come to an end when I decide that being in the presence of God is more satisfying and more fulfilling than discovering God over and over again.  I believe this is part of the spiritual maturation that takes place throughout life.

The great mystery of Who or what is God is as simple as this: to know God one must know themselves.  If the evidence of God is not apparent it’s because we are looking to far out and not deep within. Usually when the answer is right in front of our face or in this case is our face it’s to personal to believe.

God is who you are. Because God is who I Am.  We know this and we forget this, so that we may know this again. It’s a lovely game of peek-a-boo or hide and seek. Either way the truth remains there is no problem outside of me if there is peace with in.

So not knowing is a part of the journey, not a part from the journey. Don’t fear not knowing like I so obviously have it’s the reason I began writing this morning, the fear can lead to solution if I see it through.

I must be willing to be lost so that I may be found.

Enjoy the podcast.

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/I-dont-know-what-the-Hell-I-am-doing-e9llnf

 

 

Withstanding The Chaotic Energy of This Holiday Season.

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Welcome back, I say to myself.  You all have been here as I have been in a form of spiritual and experiential hiatus.  It went great, thanks for asking.

Now to the business of this writing.

You may have noticed something in the past few weeks.  This sense of dread, of confusion, of FEAR.  If you are anything like me, that is to say, a living breathing human being than you have in some form or fashion experienced this Holiday dread.

First, let’s identify what it is:

What this Chaos is, encompasses quite a bit and if we are being honest with ourselves it becomes obvious.

  • The closing out of an entire decade-  That’s right a whole decade of time has passed since last we thought, “I can’t believe we are in the 20-teens.”  This was a huge part of my formative years.

It saw the birth of two of my children, two marriages and two divorces. Two businesses open and close, unceremoniously I might add.  It saw me fall into the depths of Alcoholism, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Hopeless, Jobless, and Meaningless nothingness.  To come out the other side, Sober for over a year, full of Love, Purpose, Hope, and accomplishments I never knew myself capable of.  3 books, one Amazon bestseller, a YouTube show with hundreds of hours of content.  Paying Stand-up Comedy gigs, paying theatre gigs, Improv comedy acting, voice acting, and most importantly A life full of all the most wonderful riches and beauty I could ever imagine.

So, that’s a lot to digest.  A lot to say goodbye to.  Although I logically know it’s not going anywhere other than where it already is, the past, it is still a lot to process.  It is the processing of all this decade that is causing a lot of the chaos in my own personal psyche but also the psyche of the world.

We can know with all of our knowing power that this is true, that the decade of all this life is coming to an end.  We can know that it is not really anything, at least physically.  Energetically the end of a decade is always a big jump.  Decades have been how we define our culture, the 80’s where all the best music came from.  The 90’s where all the dirty music came from and the 2000’s where the music died.  I joke but I also want to illustrate my point there is a lot here.  How is your Decade going to be defined?

Which brings me to number 2.

What are you Scrambling to Amend from a decade of living?

This may not seem like an issue to you, however, take a second and really be honest.  It is one thing to go into a new year and say, ” I want to be a better person this year than I was the last.  I will forgive myself for last year, but this year must be different.”

How many times have we gone back on that resolution, to be the person we really want to be?  How many times have we justified the continued descent into being the antithesis of who we would like to be?  If we are being honest, it is a lot and because it is a lot it becomes a terrifying pill to swallow.  Will we ever be the person we want to be or will this decade be like the last?  The fear is right there staring us in the face, and it must be dealt with.  It will show up in all the forms.  In how we treat others, especially our family the ones that mirror and magnify all the scary things about ourselves right back at us.  Can we treat them with Love?  Can we be who we want to be even though all the people around us are making it very difficult to love them?

Can We?

The Answer:

I hope to never bring up a problem without having an idea of a solution.  So, here is the Answer.

Of course, we can.  Yes, we can.  Yes, we will.

Just kidding you’re screwed.

No. Wait. That was a joke.  You aren’t screwed in fact you’re the opposite you are hammered.  Is that the opposite?  NO, NO…

The opposite of screwed is untethered.

Here is what we do.  We grieve.  We say goodbye.  We let go of all of it, we acknowledge all of it the good and the bad the ugly and the beautiful.  Then we ask for the willingness to let go of it all.

Here is how that looks.  I look back and see places in my last 10 years where I was anything but the loving, kind, gracious, forgiving, person I wanted to be.  So, I acknowledge those times and do this:

I become loving, kind, gracious, and forgiving to myself.  There is a saying I have heard my entire life, my mom loves to say it.  ” On a plane when it’s going down, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else.”

I find the principal there, of taking care of first things first.  I must first be loving Here before I can be loving There.  I must first forgive myself before I can forgive others.  I have to let go of the fear of who I am, to allow others to be who they are.

The grieving process is never easy.  It takes some serious guts to face reality just as it is and own up to all of it.  But, I can guarantee that the personal freedom and peace that comes from owning your past and making peace with it and continuing to do so day after day is the way to an unlimited life in this next decade.

Conclusion

For all those out there feeling the whirlwind of chaos that emanates from the holiday season of being around family and crazy expectations of money spent and gifts bought.  Of sitting in traffic and being mad at yourself for giving that old lady the finger.  It all boils down to who you are, by truly seeing who you have been so that you can be exactly that which you would like to be.

Remember we are two parts. One part Human, one part Being.  Start being the Human you would like to be and forgive yourself when you act like the human you are.  We can allow ourselves to be the greatest gift to life or we can continue to Crucify our humanity because we can’t except our own Divinity.

Go forth and be free you beautiful people.  Remember, its all good.

Allowing The Lead to be Gold- Upon Awakening.

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We learn what it means to Be anything and everything. Enjoy the Podcast it’s a good one. Link below.

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/Allowing-the-Lead-to-be-Gold-e9gns7

Getting Through Tough Times- An experience

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/Getting-Through-Tough-Times-e9cjk9 

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We all deal with times in which we believe,”that’s it I can’t go on.” When the reality is we have dealt with difficult breath stealing moments our entire existence, yet somehow amazingly here we are. What is it that captures us and steals us from life to make us believe we will not make it another day or ever be happy again?  Sherrie and I discuss this and much more on the Latest episode of “Upon Awakening” click the link above and check it out now, we hope it’s as valuable to you as it was to us.

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/Getting-Through-Tough-Times-e9cjk9

OnWords-Booger, Is it actually a Demonic force to control your Children?

On this Episode of OnWords, we discuss the word Booger and its many horrifying implications and as always I rap at the end. Please be sure to leave a comment with the word you would like me to breakdown the next episode.

OnWords- Pizza, is it actually God?

Click The Link to enjoy words.

https://anchor.fm/matthew-whiteside/episodes/OnWords–Pizza-is-it-actually-God-e6fbri/a-ar3fu

In my new Podcast, I discuss the power of words in a very smart way by reading Wikipedia and saying the word a lot.  If you want to find out all about the word Pizza then listen to this fucking Podcast, and please submit words you would like to hear me unearth truths about in the next episode.

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Interview and Book Review W/ M.D Poole Author of “Salt & Light: Being The Hands and Feet of Christ.” Out Now.

saltandlightSalt & Light:

Being the Hands and Feet of Christ

By Matt Poole

 

This is a written interview with author Matt Poole.  Questions have been given by Matt Whiteside

 

Q:  Tell me about what inspired you to write this book?

A: I’ve seen the destruction both physically and spiritually that officers face first-hand. I had been writing “ideas” for years, but I really sat down and decided to write a book my first year sober. I didn’t really set out to have a book, but that’s where God led me.

 

Q:  How has writing “Salt & Light” changed your perspective on the world?  What new insights do you have?

A: I try to see everyone I meet as Jesus. I treat everyone as though they are due love, because they are. It helps me through difficult situations on a daily basis. Mercy and grace are both unmerited and unearned gifts that God has given all of us, and it’s our job to show them as well.

 

Q:  When has your faith been tested, and how do you handle doubt?

A: Years of seeing the same horrible things over and over can really take a toll on anyone. I have been at a point where I didn’t trust God, and didn’t want to, but I still believed in Him. I still believed He was there. I just didn’t want to do what he wanted me to do. It led to many years wasted, many nights forgotten, and days lived in fear.

I finally placed all of my trust in God, and now doubt is dispelled quickly.

 

Q:  What is the goal of “Salt & Light”, what do you hope readers get out of it?

A: Salt & Light is geared toward officers realizing that this job, this world, can cause issues that begin crippling our Christian identities, which in turn can lead to many of the horrible circumstances that are often seen in our line of work. High divorce rate, alcohol or substance abuse, suicide. This book tries to show them (whether practicing Christians or not) that we as servants can rely on the Word of God to help us through the situations we encounter on a daily basis, and help us all become better public servants.

 

Q: In a world where faith and religion are constantly made fun of or called into question, how do you continue to be a vessel for God to work through?

A: I honestly don’t care. My will is to do God’s will. I want to wake up and give glory to God every day. I want my work, whether it is at the station, writing, or just out and about, to glorify God. I find peace in that; I find reward in it, and happiness. I don’t need likes and shares. I’ve run into opposition, and I meet it head on with a Godly approach. I know who fights for me. Plus, I’m the police. I’m use to personal attacks, people questioning your every move, criticizing all your words. If their viewing it enough to poke fun at it, maybe they’ll learn a thing or two someday.

 

Q:  Are you planning on writing more books?

A: I am currently writing two books, one of which is under contract with DWB Publishing. “A Soul On Fire” is a speculative fiction (crime/fiction) book intended to be a series. It’s about a detective working multiple arsons connected to child abductions, who finds himself working with an angel to stop a tormented soul and his partner in crime. The book aims to show how the devil uses grief against us in a battle for souls. I would describe it as Seven meets Highway To Heaven.

The second is a speculative fiction piece that I would consider “Lewistopian” as I attempt to follow in the footsteps of Clive Staples Lewis. It’s aimed to be a short piece that mirrors “Pilgrim’s Regress” but from the angel of delivering the message of Christianity, instead of coming to faith.

 

Q: When did you first begin writing and believe, one day you could write a book and be a published author?

A: I started writing in grade school. Up through my early adult years, I wrote music, lyrics, and poems. When I was young I wanted to be a writer, even had a pen name, “David Crest.” It really wasn’t something I had thought about for a long time until I felt God calling me to write last year.

Q:  How has the publishing process been for you?  How did you find your publisher?

A: The process has been great to me. I did my homework. I was looking for a small traditional publisher that matched the genre I was writing and then looked to see which one didn’t have a work like mine. I wrote to the Editor and asked some questions, requested their submission policy along with a pre-submission worksheet, and then sent my manuscript off.  I couldn’t believe how quickly I heard back and had a contract. Blessed is how I felt. DWB Publishing has been great throughout the whole process. Editing, idea sharing, graphics. Just real wonderful people.

 

Q: What is your long term goal for this book and your writing career?

A: I want this work to be fruitful. I want to do my part to spread God’s message. I want officers to see what they can gain by changing some of their views, and how great an impact that can have on their personal and work lives. Even if you’re not a Christian, this book points to flaws in our policing of people, in our treatment of people (even if you’re not an officer), and how we all, in general, can be better people.

 

Purchase your copy today:  Buy Salt & Light

Connect With Matt Poole:M.D Poole’s Website

My Review of “Salt & Light”

Salt & Light, was like eating Soul food.  I felt replenished, I felt connected, I felt restored.

M.D Poole did an incredible job of tying scripture into his personal struggles as a “Peace Officer”, as a father, husband, and recovering alcoholic.  M.D Poole writes with incredible power and clarity.  Although I am not a Police Officer I could relate to the heart of service that M.D Poole speaks to and the weariness that one feels when trying to do good in a world that seems so bad.

After reading about the demons M.D Poole has battled and the way he still goes out and works to sow love and peace into peoples lives, I feel inspired to do more of the same in my own life.

I can say that I feel closer to my creator and more at peace with the world having read “Salt & Light”  I found myself looking to it for solace after a long day and feeling connected to something greater than myself while reading.

I have found that peace in this life can be hard to come by, it seems fleeting and never quite in step with me.  However, reading the accounts of M.D Poole and how he practices incredible faith in the face of a crazy world brought a stillness to my soul that is hard to put words to.

I can not recommend this book more highly, whether you are a police officer or not, we can all learn how to be more loving, more civil, and be the “Salt and Light” of this earth.  I am so happy I was given the opportunity to read this book, but more importantly, I feel blessed to know the heart of the man that wrote it is out in his community serving with Love.

Available Now: “The Incredible Rhett Smiley: Infinity’s Mirror” By Matt Whiteside

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I think you might like this book: http://a.co/1A0L6Cl

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So you want to be a writer? I mean how tough can writing a book be, especially with all the self-publishing services out there? Rhett Smiley a 22-year-Old stay at home son is going to learn the hard way what it means to struggle for your art. The tale of Rhett Smiley is only half of the story, as the book he is writing begins to become increasingly more and more unpredictable, and entangled in his actual life.

Filled with humor and meaning on many levels this reality blended with fantasy novel will have you questioning who you really are.

Take a chance and dive deep into the depths of The Incredible Rhett Smiley: Infinity’s Mirror

Watch as Heroes emerge.